Grif.Net

Went into a store and by the cash register they had “Our Customer Service Policy” posted. They thought I was crazy when I copied this down to add to the grif.net: We offer service three ways: Good Quick Cheap You can have any TWO of the THREE: If you want…

Linda was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Linda kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her Mom was resting, with her eyes closed. Linda marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face…

“In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed,…

I’m not saying I’m a great golfer, but yesterday after a round I commented, “I’d move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course.” “Try heaven,” my caddie advised.. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This…

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure because of the following: In Russia they didn’t know what…

Noah: “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” Adam and Eve: “Strangers in Paradise” Lazarus: “The Second Time Around” Esther: “I Feel Pretty” Job: “I’ve Got a Right to Sing the Blues” Jezebel: “The Lady is a Tramp” Samson: “Hair” Salome: “I Could Have Danced All Night” Esau: “Born To Be…

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: ‘I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here,…

My lead flight attendant came to me and said, “We have an H.R. on this flight.” (H.R. stands for human remains.) “Are they military?” I asked. ‘Yes’, she said. ‘Is there an escort?’ I asked. ‘Yes, I already assigned him a seat’. ‘Would you please tell him to come to…

[“If God Is Good” by Randy Alcorn, Multnomah Press] I heard a story of a kind-hearted king who finds a blind, destitute orphan boy while hunting in a forest. The kind takes the boy to his palace, adopts him as his son, and provides for his care. He sees that…

“What kind of flower is that?” a fellow asked his neighbor who was tending his garden. “Why this is a chrysanthemum,” the neighbor answered. “Sure looks like a rose to me” “No, it’s a chrysanthemum.” “OK. Spell it!” the fellow challenged. “Khry . . Kris . . Cris . .…

When checking out colleges, I was impressed with one school whose cafeteria staff told a group of us parents that we had nothing to worry about; they only served balanced meals. My wife asked, “Balanced, like between meat, vegetables and fruit?” The answer came back, “Not quite. By ‘balanced’ we…

At a recent graduation ceremony at Virginia Tech, the students gathered in the football stadium. The joy and exuberance of the day led to some good-natured chants En masse, the engineering students stood and shouted, “We’ve got jobs! We’ve got jobs!” From the other side of the field, the business…

Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to…