Grif.Net

Yesterday, December 7th, an old Jew was shopping in a local mall and came across an Asian fellow just window-shopping and minding his own business. He walked up to the Asian and gave him a whack. “What was THAT for?” “Sinking the Arizona at Pearl Harbor!” “Wait a minute!! I’m…

All of our home-school children were asked to create a picture of something to do with the REAL Christmas story and bring it to church. Lovely and imaginative creations adorned our meeting room as each child explained his vision of Christmas. Wise men, Star, Angels, Shepherds – all expected fare…

We asked the children to write out prayers to God for Christmas (rather than letters to Santa that so many people today use to replace God). Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Bruce, age 7 Dear God, I’ve…

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah’s Ark 1. Don’t miss the boat. 2. Plan ahead! It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark. 3. Remember that we are all in the same boat. 4. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, God may ask you…

Our children were having fun setting up and the hours or joy rearranging all of the items in the manger scene. (It was odd to see Barbie kneeling at the manger, but somehow appropriate). When evening came and the children off preparing for bed, I looked at their final rendition.…

Nick was competitive with his older siblings in everything he did, trying to show he was better or tougher. With all the new snow that had fallen, I suggested that the kids go into the yard and make snow angels and see who could make the nicest or most unique-looking…

After having the children assist in setting up props to make the front of the church into a stable and manger area, the pastor asked if any of them had a Christmas carol they would like to sing. One little girl suggested, “The First Motel” Makes sense to me. ~~…

Announcements in the church bulletin don’t always come across to the reader as they were originally meant. Like . . . *The church will host a rummage sale next Saturday. Ladies, please leave your clothes in the basement. *The weekly teen activity will be held in the gym Friday. All…

Quidquid latine dictum sit altum sonatur. Or ‘Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.’ So here are some favorite Latin phrases to sprinkle in with your blog, email or annual Christmas letter to impress . . . Nescio quid dicas = I don’t know what you’re talking about Nemo hic…

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river. ” The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” asked…

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing? Why is it called “after dark” when it is really “after light”? Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected…

MY THANKSGIVING PRAYER Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank You, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf. Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank You, Lord, that I can see.…

A student asked her teacher why people thought angels were male, not female. The teacher, of course, replied that with names like Michael and Gabriel they MUST be male. But she was stymied when the girl asked her about angels that had female names like Sarah or Cher. And I…