Grif.Net

10. There are no mosquitoes. 9. You’re so busy worrying about your car not starting, you don’t have time to worry about anything else. 8. All the sissies have left for Florida. 7. If you carelessly leave meat in your car, it will freeze and stay fresh. 6. It’s not…

[About the end of February, knowing that winter still has an icy grip on the land and that a blizzard is due during the State Basketball Tournament in a few weeks, my family in Minnesota need to thaw out and chuckle a bit. So . . . ] The state…

Did you know that M&M’s prove the Theory of Evolution? Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue to test the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb…

[On a recent visit to the Seattle area, a friend visited the Microsoft Café. Here is his story] Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the…

Sometimes people make fun of those who receive the daily grif.net email (5000 of my closest friends) and countless others who read it on the blog or FaceBook. I want you all to know I will stand up for you and defend you. The other day someone said to me,…

“HE LEADETH ME” by John F. Chaplain In pastures green? Not always; sometimes He Who knows best, in kindness leads me by weary ways, where heavy shadows be. Out of the sunshine warm and soft and bright – Out of the sunshine into the darkest night, I oft would faint…

[ML asked me about this] Did you ever hear of Amoeba State Prison? It’s so small it only has one cell. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone. “I went to get a haircut,” was the reply. “But,”…

An old married couple was bickering a bit. He said “All men are born free and equal, but some of us got married and that’s our own fault.” This irritated his wife even more, so she quipped, “When we die and go to heaven, did you know we will no…

Joshie wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!” ~~ The…

[Not a joke today. Had this cute gal in college 45 years ago who took the role of Elizabeth Barrett – with me taking the role of Robert Browning, of course – remind me of our “audition” poem and dialog . . and what it led to. Life has never…

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine’s Day — and its patron saint — is shrouded in mystery. But…

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: For those men still living in a cave and not knowing the time of year, you have only this weekend to get a Valentine card, flowers, chocolates or gift for that ‘special someone’. If you don’t, you may be living in a dog house. Do it NOW…