Grif.Net

[Rather than just a single day to honor dads, I thought I would share some father-fodder each day for a fortnight leading up to Father’s Day. Tried to list sources: feel free to use any you like.] “When I as a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant, I…

A woman who worked for years with the dying wrote a list of the top 5 regrets people say aloud on their deathbed. This confirmed my desire NOT to say any of these. 1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life…

[By request, repeat of the Top 10 Things You Will NEVER Hear Dad Say] – Well, what do you know? I’m lost. We’ll have to stop and get some directions. – Well, honey, you are thirteen now. I bet you’re ready to start dating. – I like all of your…

Q: How many ears did Davy Crockett have? A: Three A left ear, a right ear, and a wild front ear. (Okay, I’ve been hangin’ with my grandkids too long . . . ) ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

Ken told a story that is perfectly logical to all males: A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.” A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The…

Doctor: “How is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?” Nurse: “No change yet.” ~~ Patient walks into a doctor’s office and said, “I think people just ignore me.” Doctor: “Next!” ~~ Doctor: “Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?” Patient: “What…

The bugle echoes shrill and sweet, but not of war it sings today. The road is rhythmic with the feet of men-at-arms who come to pray. The rose blossoms white and red on tombs where weary soldiers lie; Flags wave above the honored dead and martial music cleaves the sky.…

[Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of you ladies who bake for church events] Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies’ Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it…

[CH shared this story that sounds a tad apocryphal . . and political] I was eating lunch with my 7-year-old grandson and I asked him, “What special day is next Monday?”   He said “Memorial Day!”   He is a smart kid.   I asked “What does Memorial Day mean?”…

When the cat was run over by a car, the mother quickly disposed of the remains before her four-year-old son Billy found out about it. After a few days, Billy finally asked about the cat. “Billy, the cat died,” his mother explained. “But it’s all right. He’s up in heaven…

One of my granddaughter’s classmates at the Christian school was found by his teacher with pencil and paper, making a sketch. When asked what he was doing, he answered promptly, and with considerable pride: “I’m drawing a picture of God.” “But,” gasped the shocked teacher, “you can’t do that. No…

On an end-of-the-year field trip, a kindergarten teacher was walking her class along the road when a fire engine roared past. Sitting in the front seat was a Dalmatian. The children immediately started debating the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep the crowds back,” said one. “No,” said another.…

Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia? Johnny: Holding up the telephone lines. ~~ Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Tommy’s test paper. Johnny: I hope you didn’t see me either! ~~ Teacher: I think you copied off Tommy in that test. Johnny: What…