Grif.Net

Enjoyed playing the “What do you call . . ” game with grandkids this summer. Yes, they are in grade school so remember the level of humor will be for 9 year olds and warped grandpa’s! What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta What do you call a…

It just dawned on me . . . My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day, and when awake does nothing of any real importance. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the…

Three cowboys from Wyoming were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop up some souvenirs and autographs. The first suggested, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.” Immediately, a burly athlete…

[Wal-Mart statistics verified by Snopes (however, we don’t know who verifies Snopes). Commentary not verified by anyone. Taken from a local political column whose author may enjoy tea.] 1 Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every hour of every day. 2. This works out to $35,000 company profit every minute! 3.…

Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born. Dogs will let you give…

An embarrassed woman approached the pastor after the service. “I’m awfully sorry about my husband walking out like that. I do hope you won’t take it as a reflection of your beautiful sermon?” “No, not at all” replied the gracious preacher. “I’m sure all God’s creatures have their reasons.” “Oh…

Did you hear the one about . . . . . the fellow who was so short that when it rains he’s the last one to know? . . the fugitive who held hostage a busload of Japanese tourists? The police have 5,000 pictures of him. . . the gal…

It’s so hot today.. the nation is under a “heat dome” but will have plenty of shade under our 14 trillion dollar debt ceiling that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones ice pops are melting in the freezer that I actually felt…

[A fellow passed this on as true. I have my doubts.] I was walking alone without my husband downtown, and was asked by a very dirty and disheveled homeless gal for money. The gal said she needed a ‘couple of dollars for dinner’. I took out my wallet, got out…

Missionary Milton Cunningham was flying on a plane from Atlanta to Dallas. He happened to have the middle of the three seats on one side of the aisle. To his right, sitting next to the window, was a young girl who had Down’s syndrome. She began asking him very-simple-but-almost-offensive questions.…

(All have been checked out and sworn to be true) How DRY is it this summer? A friend in Lubbock said he’d killed a mosquito that was carrying a canteen. A man in Tulsa said the Tyson chicken farmers were giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying…

WIFE’S DIARY: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late,…

It’s an age old question that my granddaughter posed to me. She asked, “Do you know how you can tell if your chocolate Easter bunny is a boy bunny or a girl bunny?” Quietly and with a modicum of fear I replied, “I don’t know honey. How?” Matter-of-factly she stated:…