Grif.Net

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability. The English…

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller, “Give me the money. One false move and you’re geography!” The teller said: “Don’t you mean history?” The robber screamed at her, “Don’t try to change the subject!” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows…

At the height of an argument, a friend yelled at his wife, “Admit it, Cheryl, the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me $10 million.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “I don’t care who left it to you.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows…

A Californian has invented a robotic parking attendant. He’s calling it the Silicon Valet. ~~ My wife drives like lightning. Not that she drives fast, but that she hits trees. ~~ If you smuggle cars into the country, are you trafficking? ~~ A fellow came in the office and asked…

One frozen winter, Jim and John built a skating rink in the middle of a field. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink, but the sheep were afraid of the ice and refused to cross it. So in desperation the shepherd began tugging them…

BILLY’S MISSION Author Unknown It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that…

Did you hear about the hyena what swallowed a bouillon cube? He made a laughing stock of himself. ~~ Two cows were talking in a field one day. The first cow said: “Have you heard about the Mad Cow Disease that’s going around?” The second cow said: “Yeah. Makes you…

A cat died and went to heaven. God said: “You’ve been a good cat all your life – a devoted pet. Is there anything you wish?” The cat replied: “I lived on a farm and always had to sleep on a hard floor so a soft pillow would be great.…

Q. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A. One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

Sept 13, 1968 (you guessed it, a Friday) was my first date with Teresa. Thought some dating/marriage thoughts I’ve heard would be appropriate today. **Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I only catch her in my pockets. **My wife made me join a bridge club.…

When a woman discovered that she was pregnant, her four-year-old son overheard his parents’ conversation about possible baby names. He didn’t say anything until a week later when a family friend asked him if he was excited about the prospect of a new brother or sister. “Yes,” said the boy,…

John Harper was born to Christian parents on May 29th, 1872. It was on the last Sunday of March 1886, when he was 13 years old that he received Jesus as the Lord of his life. He never knew what it was to “sow his wild oats.” He began to…

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you…