Grif.Net

I am a victim of “Class Warfare”. The folks who are getting the free stuff don’t like the folks who are paying for the free stuff (ME), because the folks who are paying for the free stuff (ME) can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and…

A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live. He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the news she said to him, “Honey, if there’s anything I can do to make you happy, tell me.” The preacher answered,…

[JH sent in this story from England] The attendant at the gas station [yeah, I changed it since he said “petrol” and nobody talks that way around here] noticed a small penguin was sitting in the back seat of a patron’s car. The attendant just had to ask what the…

Q. What do you call a cat that ate a duck? A. A duck-filled-fatty-puss. Q. What did the cat do after he had eaten some cheese? A. He waited by a mouse hole with baited breath. Q. What do you call it when a cat stops briefly? A. A paws.…

I didn’t invent the hypothetical situation, but let’s just suppose for a second that I did. What did love say to fear? Nothing. Love knows no fear. Why do they bother saying “raw” sewage? Do some people cook that stuff? Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I…

Ten Puns for the Tenth Month (thanks to BN in Casper for the forward) 1. Mixed sports reference = Football season is in full swing and soon the World Series will kickoff. 2. If you like the bizarre, there is a new TV show named Dr. Odd 3. Hickory Dickory…

James sent this information on helping children learn and keeping order in the schools posted on chalk boards in the classroom (courtesy of Sacramento School Museum). Punishment in Lashes (1848) 1. Boy and girls playing together. – 4 2. Fighting at school. – 5 3. Quarreling at school. – 5…

I asked a new employee from overseas about his family background and nationality. He replied, “Sir, our household truly represents the United Kingdom of Great Britain. I am English, my wife’s a Scot, our setter is Irish, and the baby wails.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…

Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day on a school outing. They decided to visit the elephant enclosure, but within an hour they were picked up by a police officer for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning and the zookeeper asked them…

My wife works too hard, so I decided to wash a load of my work-out clothes myself and save her the time. Of course, I had no clue what to do, so asked, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” she replied from the other room.…

On their silver wedding anniversary, a woman turned to her husband and said: “Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?” “Why shouldn’t I?” he replied. “I stuck with you through the other six shades.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

The wife said to her husband: “Darling, I need a new dress.” “What’s wrong with the one you’ve got?” he groused. “Well to begin with it’s too long, it’s after Labor Day and I shouldn’t wear white, and besides, the veil keeps getting in my eyes.” (Caveat: This was NOT…

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The Grandmother replied, “Well, let me think a minute. I was born before nation-wide television, penicillin, polio…