Grif.Net

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you…

BIBLICAL ALPHABET Although things are not perfect Because of trial or pain Continue in thanksgiving Do not begin to blame Even when the times are hard Fierce winds are bound to blow God is forever able Hold on to what you know Imagine life without His love Joy would cease…

It’s Friday so Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some major house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling all the heavy stuff.” “We’re short-handed, Smith,” the boss replies.…

[Recently we’ve receive a rash of letters from folks who would like to work for our clinic. Here are some “phrases” that, when I read, immediately mean filing the letter in the circular file.] “I’m really anxious to work for you and to have access to all those drugs.” “I…

Heard about a gal who was on board a small two-seater airplane when suddenly the pilot had a heart attack. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabbed the radio. “Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!” Ground control received her call for help and answered back: “Don’t worry, ma’am.…

[Here are a few more recent daily updates of a very troubled mind] Because of tanning beds 1000 years from now archeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment… I believe a lot of conflict in the old west could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had…

[My FaceBook friend Juli gives daily status updates. I don’t sew, but they keep me in stitches. Here is another batch.] You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore. Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till…

A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day, = Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to = pray.   Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle, = The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn’t…

I admit I’ve told a few jokes recently that were so punny that the only replies to these daily grif.net emails and FaceBook entries were cries of anguish from my readers heard all the way to where I live in Wyoming, as if carried on the breeze. You could say…

Since I went to college and seminary (for those who read this with amazement, yes, I’m an ordained minister as well as retired college professor) in Wisconsin and proudly wear Green and Gold for the World Champion PACKERS, I have a fondness for puns about my state. And I tend…

The teacher asked her students, “Who can tell me what the ruler of Russia was called?” “Czar,” the class replied in unison. “Correct. And what was his wife called?” “Czarina,” the class replied. “Good! And what were his children called?” A timid voice piped up. “Czardines?” [Thanks for the chuckle,…

GRANDPARENTS’ ANSWERING MACHINE Good morning. At present we are not at home Please leave your message after you hear the beep. Beeeeeppp …. If you are one of our children, press 1 and then select the option from 1 to 3 in order of “birth” so we know who it…

A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied. Said the store manager, “Sorry, kid, but baggers can’t be juicers.”…