Grif.Net

I didn’t invent the hypothetical situation, but let’s just suppose for a second that I did. What did love say to fear? Nothing. Love knows no fear. Why do they bother saying “raw” sewage? Do some people cook that stuff? Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I…

Ten Puns for the Tenth Month (thanks to BN in Casper for the forward) 1. Mixed sports reference = Football season is in full swing and soon the World Series will kickoff. 2. If you like the bizarre, there is a new TV show named Dr. Odd 3. Hickory Dickory…

James sent this information on helping children learn and keeping order in the schools posted on chalk boards in the classroom (courtesy of Sacramento School Museum). Punishment in Lashes (1848) 1. Boy and girls playing together. – 4 2. Fighting at school. – 5 3. Quarreling at school. – 5…

I asked a new employee from overseas about his family background and nationality. He replied, “Sir, our household truly represents the United Kingdom of Great Britain. I am English, my wife’s a Scot, our setter is Irish, and the baby wails.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…

Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day on a school outing. They decided to visit the elephant enclosure, but within an hour they were picked up by a police officer for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning and the zookeeper asked them…

My wife works too hard, so I decided to wash a load of my work-out clothes myself and save her the time. Of course, I had no clue what to do, so asked, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” she replied from the other room.…

On their silver wedding anniversary, a woman turned to her husband and said: “Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?” “Why shouldn’t I?” he replied. “I stuck with you through the other six shades.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

The wife said to her husband: “Darling, I need a new dress.” “What’s wrong with the one you’ve got?” he groused. “Well to begin with it’s too long, it’s after Labor Day and I shouldn’t wear white, and besides, the veil keeps getting in my eyes.” (Caveat: This was NOT…

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The Grandmother replied, “Well, let me think a minute. I was born before nation-wide television, penicillin, polio…

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability. The English…

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller, “Give me the money. One false move and you’re geography!” The teller said: “Don’t you mean history?” The robber screamed at her, “Don’t try to change the subject!” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows…

At the height of an argument, a friend yelled at his wife, “Admit it, Cheryl, the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me $10 million.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “I don’t care who left it to you.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows…

A Californian has invented a robotic parking attendant. He’s calling it the Silicon Valet. ~~ My wife drives like lightning. Not that she drives fast, but that she hits trees. ~~ If you smuggle cars into the country, are you trafficking? ~~ A fellow came in the office and asked…