Grif.Net

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible he found in a dusty trunk. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-another had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector. “Yes, that was it!” “You idiot! You’ve thrown away one…

Overheard: If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Overheard: Follow your dreams, except for that one where you’re not wearing clothes at work. Overheard: It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know. Overheard: I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get…

About the time our new nation won its independence and adopted their new constitution, in 1787 Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior: “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it…

[Saw that Tiger won again and caused me to consider the unwritten but very real laws in effect with this pastime.] LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the…

[Bill & Beth SAY they like good puns. Then they sent me these to use on the Grif.Net blog. Words do not always match action, methinks.] Flags in July are the decoration of independence. Have you been impacted? The tooth always hurts. I looked at the Rorschach test, but had…

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to separate ourselves from humanity and the sinfulness that pervades it so, a God given conscience and the Holy Spirit call us to action. We hold these truths to be self evident, that God in six days created the heavens…

[Today their mom and dad come in from the airport, so this is the LAST of the jokes designed for the kids. And all of God’s people said, ‘Amen’.] What did the mother buffalo say to her little boy when he went off to school? Bison. If April showers bring…

[Still watching grandkids while their parents echo about in the Grand Canyon. So guess what? YOU benefit by getting a fourth type of Grade School jokes designed to make a 5th and a 3rd grader laugh. Or groan.] Did you hear about the giant who threw up? It’s all over…

[With such an underwhelming response to jokes to keep my grandkids busy, I thought I’d try a different type of humor – the “how” jokes. Not better, just different] How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique…

[More humor aimed to keep the grandkids quiet this = week.]   What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in = common? They both have the same middle = name.   What did one ocean say to the other = ocean? Nothing, they just waved.   What…

[With my daughter and her hubby abandoning their kids to our care for the week, I decided to help them with high-quality humor. And grif.net humor, too.] Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels. Why was Cinderella so lousy at…

A little boy about 10 years old was standing on the sidewalk in front of a shoe store, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, “My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?” “I was asking God…

The little girl had been naughty in school. By way of punishment, she was directed by the teacher to remain in her seat after class until she had written an original composition containing not less than fifty words. In a surprisingly short space of time, she offered the following, and…