Grif.Net

[revised from a 100-year old list in a church bulletin] I. Thou shalt not leave “Christ” out of Christmas, making it “Xmas.” (“X” = Greek letter ‘chi’ standing for ‘Christ’, but to most “X” is unknown). II. Thou shalt prepare your soul for Christmas. Spend not so much on gifts…

[Jacob forwarded this Hanukkah story]. A Rabbi was walking, slowly, out of a shul in New York, when a gust of wind blew his hat off and down the street. He was an old man, who walked with the aid of a cane, and who wasn’t able to fetch his…

Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy The older I get, the better I was. If a man is out in a field all alone and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE…

Semester almost over? NO WAY!! Time for a Pop-Quiz. Twelve nations have over 100 million population. I figured I could guess them all. NOT! I only got 9 (and as many know, I think I’m kinda smart). So here is your challenge. I would like to see if YOU can…

“May those who love us, love us. And those who don’t love us, may God turn their hearts. If He can’t turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles, so we’ll know them by their limping.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

(Sung to The Battle Hymn Of The Republic) Mine eyes have seen the horror Of the ending of the term It has poisoned all my spirits Like an apple with a worm It’s infected all my freedom Like an ugly deadly germ The truth shall soon be known. Chorus: Failure,…

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: “I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I’ll…

[B.R. in Wisconsin read a recent Grif.Net dealing with aging and shared some of his favorites. Some may be repeats of previous lists; hey, I already said I’m old. And this is appropriate as I give a birthday shout out to my only son-in-law “Mr Z”, who has the most…

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical questions? “Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?” Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! 4 out of 5 voices in my head say ‘Call in sick’ Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like bananas; celery stalks along the…

[PT said this was true]. My wife was reading to our little two-year-old son at bedtime the story of the Good Samaritan. She got to the place where lawyer challenges Jesus’ authority with a question. My wife read the lawyer’s question: “And who is my neighbor?” “I know!” said my…

An older doctor passed a cute young staff member in the hospital corridor. He cauterize and winked at her. Intern, she winked back. Age was creeping up on him and he was morphine into a senior citizen, but vowed to trach her down for a date. He didn’t want to…

The first Christmas there were actually FOUR kings who came from the East searching for the baby Jesus. They were named Why, What, Where, and a fourth king, Whence. Along the way, Whence (with no GPS?) took a wrong turn on his camel, separated from the caravan, and was never…

[My cyber-friend Jack Murphy who often uses grif.net humor in his columns recently had this thoughtful essay published. So now I am quoting him!] TIME TO SEARCH FOR CHRISTMAS This is the time of year that reminds me of one of my pet peeves. We often hear from merchants that…