Grif.Net

It’s scary when your body starts making the same noises as your coffee maker. The nice thing about growing older is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them. My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as…

[A friend forwarded this for my “birthday celebration these first two weeks of March as I face 65 years next week] I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet…

[Pat shared answers to typical questions from those who wonder how retire-ment is going. Now that I’m on Medicare, I’m copying some of these for future reference.] Question: How many days are in your week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday and I know when it’s Sunday because that’s when the…

Isaiah 46:3-4 “I have created you and cared for you since you were born. I will be your God through all your lifetime. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He Who will sustain you. I’ve made you and I’ll carry you; I’ll sustain…

[Jack forwarded a couple thoughts on health and aging in honor of my upcoming 65th birthday, so I added to them for a quick look at the reality!] Don’t worry about old age. It doesn’t last that long. I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type. As we age we…

[I know. A day early. But March 1-14 grif.net humor will celebrate aging, culminating with the 65th birthday on March 14 if I live that long. LOTS of jokes about getting old!!] I read about car vandalism in the downtown 4-story parking garage. This just seemed wrong on so many…

[A friend in Arkansas sent these observations] You might be visiting a Babdiss Church if . . . . the Call to Worship is “Y’all come on in!” . . people grumble about why Noah let them varmints on the Ark. (Some substitute “Yankees” for “varmints”) . . the Preacher…

[Some funny, some not. But all real quotations.] “Next year at Lent I’m going to give up coming up with ideas for what my wife should give up for Lent.” (unnamed friend of mine) “For Lent, I’m giving up making jokes about what I’m giving up for Lent.” (George Burns)…

THE ZEN OF COMPUTERS In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third. Haiku is…

[CC in Houston forwarded these thoughts. No clue of origin.] One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver…

[Virginia contributed these jokes that her mother who is nearly 100 thought were some of these funniest in her memory. I agree with her sense of humor.] “I’m a light eater. The minute it gets light, I start to eat.” ~~ “Why is 5:00 am like the tail of a…

We should learn from the Beaverton (OR) School District: A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints. Before…

[Mother-in-law told this story 40+ years ago. Still now, when asked how things are going, some days the final lines of this story are fresh in my mind.] John went out golfing one fine day with his best friend George. On the second tee George hit a beautiful 4-iron shot…