Grif.Net

[Delayed delivery due to foreign internet connections] Our Church Senior Group had a speaker dealing with the Genesis Flood but one older gentleman who has hearing challenges seemed a little confused and kept wondering why we were talking about “Evidence of Noah’s AARP”. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus…

[The grif.net will be delayed or missing-in-action for a bit as I am out of the country and not sure of internet service. But, sadly to say, we will be sure eventually to get all of the quality humor out to YOU!!] Sign on Laundromat next door to First Baptist…

Jack shared that “on a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I’d recently started waiting tables, the owner suddenly emerged from the kitchen and handed me money. “We’re in trouble!” He said. “We’re out of quarters, and customers are waiting. Go next door and get me $40 worth.” I…

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. “Hello, President Obama,” a heavily accented Norwegian voice said. “‘Dis here is Sven, over here at the Muni Liquor Store in Menahga, Minnesota. Ve don’t like some a yer policies so I am callin’ to tell ya that…

I was in Phoenix the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car (obviously from a snowbird wintering in the Arizona warmth) that read: “I miss Chicago.” So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama bumper sticker…

[Borrowed from a FaceBook wall with no attribution/origin] 1. If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally, you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots. 2. If you have to get your parents…

Rich said two boys (an Irishman and a Norwegian – but feel free to change the ethnicity when you tell it) entered a chocolate store. As they were admiring all the candy, the Norwegian boy stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Norwegian whispered to his friend,…

I’ve often joked that we stopped with 3 kids because we read that every 4th child born in the world was Chinese and we didn’t want to risk it. Ha Ha! Now I read on the internet (so it MUST be true) that a couple with nine kids went to…

[Took a walk in the park and while sitting, watching the joggers run past, I heard some other retirees talking] “My memory is bad.” “How bad is it?” “How bad is what?” ~~ “When I got up this morning I stretched and my elbows and shoulders went ‘crack’. I straightened…

Last night I was sitting with my wife and kids and talking about my Living Will and last wishes. I told them sincerely that “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that happens, please just do me a…

[More funny or not-so-funny jokes for all ages] My friends tell me I’m too condescending. That means I talk down to people. What’s large, grey, and doesn’t matter? An irrelephant. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Knock-knock. Who’s there? To. To who? To…

[LMP sent this humor with an added political zinger so thought I’d wait for the weekend when we deal with more serious subjects to send it] President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. He approaches the cashier:…

[Here are some good “bad” jokes, as well as some bad “good” jokes. You judge.] My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs. Who will take the second shot in the pool game? Find out after…