Grif.Net

When I stand at the judgment seat of Christ And He shows me His plan for me, The plan of my life as it might have been Had He had His way with me. And I see how I blocked Him here and I checked Him there, And I would…

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not flunk; He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying. He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break; He restoreth my faith in study guides. He leads me to better study habits for my grade’s sake. Yea,…

His name was Ole, he was from “Visconson”, and he wanted a loan. So, he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was taking Lena to Paris for their second honeymoon and needed to borrow $5,000…

My daughter told me that Saudi Arabia was free of mental illness because there are nomad people there. Speaking of the Middle East, a friend went over there to explore for Shell Oil about possible drilling sites. His wife missed him, so sent him a ‘Get Well Soon’ card. Not…

[Got back from flying to Washington DC, Orlando and points east. Heading out in a week to Michigan and the Midwest. Here are some announcements you DON’T want to hear on an airplane] Flying across Lake Michigan, “This is your Captain speaking, this seems an appropriate time to remind you…

[As the weather gets better, here are a couple more cute stories about golf and marriage] The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs by his side. She asked, “What are your golf clubs doing…

Then Noah decided to check and see if there was dry land. He must have had a laptop computer that seemed to take forever to boot up and finally, “After forty days, Noah opened the window he had made”(Genesis 8:6). He was very frustrated that it took him forty days…

Sign at the State Fair: “CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON, $3.00” Sign at the Garden Center: “FREE POT (WHEN YOU BUY ANY PLANT)” Sign at the Mall: “24 HOUR ATM (OPEN 9 AM – 9 PM, M-F)” Sign at Dry Cleaners: “COME IN AND DROP YOUR PANTS” Sign in the Produce Aisle:…

Three men were hiking in the woods when they came across a wide raging river. The first man prayed, “Lord, give me strength to get across this river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and though it took him a long time and he came close to…

One of the newest restaurants in Orlando has a reputation for serving the best English fish-and-chips. I thought it odd that the eatery was in a local monastery, with a very humble and dedicated staff. Had to laugh when I was introduced to Brother Martin and Brother Gerald, the head…

[Delayed delivery from somewhere in the Caribbean Sea] [Alan Simpson, former outspoken Senator from my home state of Wyoming, calls senior citizens the “Greediest Generation” as he compared “Social Security” to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats. Here’s a response in a letter-to-the-editor from a Patty Myers of neighboring…

An old man passed away and during the funeral service, the pastor was waxing eloquent on all the positive traits of the deceased; he was an honest man, a wonderful husband and father, a person kind to strangers, generous, etc. Finally the widow leaned over and whispered to her son,…

DC told me that a golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a powerful swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his four wood, he…