Grif.Net

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.” “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed…

FAVORITE HYMNS FOR VARIOUS OCCUPATIONS The Dentist’s Hymn = “Crown Him with Many Crowns” The TV Weatherman’s Hymn = “There Shall be Showers of Blessing” The Contractor’s Hymn = “The Church’s One Foundation” The Tailor’s Hymn = “Holy, Holy, Holy” The Golfer’s Hymn = “There is a Green Hill Far…

1. The coach never came to visit me. 2. Every time I went, they asked me for money. 3. The people sitting in my row didn’t seem very friendly. 4. The seats were very hard. 5. The referees made a decision I didn’t agree with. 6. I was sitting with…

Dana Perino (FOX News) described an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages? “Oh, no ma’am, we don’t go there to talk.” ~~ Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard…

“A cookbook is being compiled by the ladies of the church. Please submit your favorite recipe, along with a short antidote for it.” “The ‘Over Sixties’ choir will disband for the winter, with the thanks of the entire congregation.” “Next Sunday after the service will be a Vegetarian Chili Supper,…

Here is a mid-week quiz that is truly surprising. As the first (mother-tongue) of people in the world, what language are spoken by the most people? I am too kind, I know, but I will give you the estimated NUMBER of people who speak that language AND the first LETTER…

In a barbershop in Wyoming the television on the wall was sharing Headline News. A tourist walked in just as President Obama came on TV to blame the Republicans for the mess this country is in. After looking at the screen for a minute, he mumbled, “Now there’s the biggest…

[Bob shared this and it made me smile. So passing it along.] Schwartz is dying and is on his deathbed. He is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them: “Bernie, I want you to take the…

As a boy I remember my mother quoting this poem to us children. She wanted us learn its lesson to live wisely each day, as life would pass so quickly and we could never go back. I wish I had learned it’s message back then. Sarah Doudney wrote this when…

[Last month’s “great come-back” made me remember another “great” one from an interview with the late General Norman Schwarzkopf] The General was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. The General…

A little quiz on some famous authors who wrote using pen names. I will give the AUTHOR and you simply have to give the well-known PEN NAME under which he/she wrote. I will give letter-spacing as clues to help you because hey, I have the answers and you don’t. Ha.…

[Now, Teresa doesn’t have a FaceBook account. She spends hours on the computer at her clinic working and doesn’t have any desire to waste precious free time on such trivialities. So I thought I’d post some of her “status updates” for her. You’re welcome, dear.] “The first 50 years of…

[Monthly assortment of truly lousy word play and puns] With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key. Every calendar’s days are numbered. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. Those who get too…