[Lenora shared this story] A man went to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The fellow replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked, “How can that be?” The…
06/06/13 Grif.Net – New Country Music
[Jim forwarded these Country Songs that never quite made the greatest hits list. They are almost as bad as the summer reading lists I’ve been sending] “I’m Depressed Because All My Jeans Are Blue” “I Wouldn’t Take Her To a Dog Fight, Even If She Promised to Win” “The Last…
06/05/13 Grif.Net – Wedding Good-bye
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom, the bride kissed her father a traditional good-bye kiss, and squeezed his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even as the…
06/05/13 Grif.Net – Wedding Good-bye
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom, the bride kissed her father a traditional good-bye kiss, and squeezed his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even as the…
06/04/13 Grif.Net – Summer Reading List (3)
“Rapunzel”, by Harris Long. “How I Won the Marathon”, by Randy Hoelway. “The Nervous Job Applicant”, by Titus A. Drum. “I Didn’t Do It!”, by Ivan Alibi. “Here’s Pus in Your Eye”, by Lance Boyle. “Why I Avoid McDonalds”, by Tommy Ayk. “I Hit the Wall”, by Isadore There. “The…
06/03/13 Grif.Net – Monthly Punthly
I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. ~~ What English monarch standardized the use of fractions? Obviously, Henry VIII ~~ This story takes place out on the Wind River Indian Reservation. One night, three women all began labor at the same time, far…
06/01/13 Weekend Grif.Net – Alarming Statistics
MEDICAL DOCTORS: .The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000 .Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000 .Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171 (Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services) GUNS: .The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000 .The number of accidental…
05/31/13 Grif.Net – Tragedy in the Produce Aisle
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed. A “friend of a friend” put him in touch with…
05/30/13 Grif.Net – Cognitive Skills
At the asylum, three patients were up for evaluation. The doctor decided to start with a simple cognitive intelligence test. He asked the first man, “What is three times three?” “274,” he replied. The Doctor repeated the question to the second man, “What is three times three?” “Tuesday,” replied the…
05/29/13 Grif.Net – Summer Reading List (2)
“Desert Caravan”, by Rhoda Camel. “The Philippine Post Office”, by Imelda Letter. “Things to Do at a Party”, by Bob Frapples. “Stop Arguing”, by Xavier Breath. “Come on In!”, by Doris Open. “The German Bank Robbery”, by Hans Zupp. “I Hate the Sun”, by Gladys Knight. “Don’t Fence Me In”,…
05/28/13 Grif.Net – Wheelchair
[AG forwarded this story for the grif.net] Hospital regulations required a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman – already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet – who insisted he did NOT need any…
05/27/13 Memorial Day Grif.Net – Beach Vendor
Enjoying Memorial Day Weekend, the wife and I were catching some sun at the ocean when we noticed a girl with a back pack. She would approach people with boom boxes and other electronic devices and speak softly to them. Occasionally she would reach in her pack, exchange a small…
05/25/13 Weekend Grif.Net – Memorial Day Proclamation
PRAYER FOR PEACE, MEMORIAL DAY, 2013 BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA A PROCLAMATION Since our Nation’s earliest days, America has been blessed with an unbroken chain of patriots who have served our country with honor and distinction. From Concord to the Korengal, generations of brave warriors…