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[Scott send this about 15 years ago and can’t recall if we’ve used it. Still brought a smile, so enjoy.] Has the heaviness of your old-fashioned church got you weighted down? Try us! We are the New and Improved “LITE CHURCH of the Valley”. **Studies have shown we have 24%…

Two sisters inherit the family ranch in Wyoming. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. One sister balances their checkbook, then takes…

[Tim shared this note and brought a smile] A friend of mine refuses to use credit cards because he eschews debt. So, when he picked up his aging work car (a 12-year-old Ford Escort) at the repair shop, he paid by check. Not long after, he came home from work…

In 1919, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11 as Armistice Day to commemorate the end of World War I. The end of hostilities happened at the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, 1918, and this was a fitting day to honor the servicemen returning home. Congress…

In the summer of 1960, my father took our family on a camping trip in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. He wanted to see the rugged beauty of that region with special focus on 3 places he had wanted to share with us: (1) The newly-opened Mackinac Bridge that rivaled…

[Jack forwarded this chuckle. More truth than most want to admit.] Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I…

In 1965 a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess his sin, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During World War II I hid a Jewish refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin. As a matter of…

Some advice I want to share to all the grif.net blog readers. As a pastor I desire all of you to live safely. Please . . . Do NOT ride in automobiles: They cause 20% of all fatal accidents. Do NOT stay at home: 17% of all accidents occur in…

[Rose asked if we’d seen these signs. Mix of old/new ones.] In a store: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS On a job site:…

Fishmore & Dolittle – Retirement Planners Young at Heart – Slightly Older in Other Places In Dog Years I’m Dead I Always Cook with Wine. Sometimes I Add It to Food Geezer: Not Young. Not Old. Somewhere Inbetween I’m Speeding because I have to Get There before I forget where…

You may be asked, “What is it like to be a Christian?” Just remind them of Halloween: “It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in and washes all the dirt off you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the…

My teenage daughter turned down a job as a restaurant hostess because it just an entry level position. A golf buddy has now taken up playing pool. He loves pool tables because there are six holes in one. Dave reminded me that alcohol and calculus do not mix, so please…

“How was your blind date for the Halloween Party?” a lovely young clerk at our office asked her co-worker. “Terrible!” the gal answered. “He came by to pick me up in a fedora driving his 1932 Rolls Royce.” “Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What could be so bad about…