Grif.Net

My God, I love Thee, not because I hope for heaven thereby; Nor yet since they who love Thee not must burn = eternally.   Thou, O my Jesus, Thou didst me upon the cross embrace; For me didst bear the nails and spear, and manifold disgra= ce;   An=…

Can’t use my new stairlift at the house.  It’s= driving me up the wall.   ~~ Did you hear about the= actor who fell through the floorboards?He was just going through a sta= ge.   ~~= Not all math puns are bad.  Sadly, sum= of them are.   ~~ I…

As robbers entered the bank, their leader pulled a gun and aske= d for the manager. He demanded that he open the vault.   He even threatened the ma= nager by saying, "If you try to do anything smart, you’re English.&quo= t;   Th= e manager was confused and asked…

A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons we= re in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the c= ar next to them and noticed a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughte= r.   Lo= oking at her husband, she said,…

[When teaching Intro to Geography at Pillsbury College, I found= many students had “holes” in their knowledge of the physical o= r cultural geography of Asia.  They knew much more about North America= and Europe, but gaps about the other continents.  Today’s quiz = is, therefore, tough. And to make…

Overheard amidst the groans of vacations ending and school back= in session . . . >Quiz on the first day of school asked, &#8220= ;What are your three favorite words?”Obvious answer was June, Jul= y, and August. >I bought a parka in August. = I got a really good deal…

There were 200 people attending a seminar on mental and physica= l health. At one point, the speaker told the group they were going to do an= activity. He gave each attendee one balloon and told them to write their n= ame on it with a marker. Then, the balloons…

A History Professor is welcoming a= fresh class of undergraduates and decides it is worth having a little fun = to settle down the nervous young adults. He looks at the register to see which students are in his cla= ss this semester. “Do = we have a Miss Butcher…

Wife says spiders and snakes are part of the eek-o-system.~~ I ate a frozen apple.Yep. I know= =2E Hard core.   ~~ Accordion to a recent survey, re= placing words in a sentence with the names of musical instruments often goe= s undetected.   ~~ I’m pining for a good…

My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance r= elationship" thing. I have to stay = 100 feet away from her at all times. &= nbsp; Also, the police say I should stop referrin= g to her as my girlfriend.  =   ~~QUIZ ANSWERS F= OR MOST ORDERED…

[This is a crazy quiz based on recently compiled stats. I will = list Fast Food Restaurants (regional and national); all you need to do is g= uess the MOST ORDERED ITEM at that chain.   Example: Wing StopAnswer: ORIGINAL = HOT WINGS   Okay, that was a softball example. …

[Looking back 25 years to an old Grif Net offering and noting t= hat the humor today is no better.  I was teaching college in Minnesota= and think this was an old worn-out joke then.] Four men were in a M= inneapolis hospital waiting room because their wives are having…

Lina, as she was known to friends and family, was in fragile he= alth but used her hours as a pastor’s daughter in the small Swedish t= own of Fryderyd to read voraciously with time for deep introspection. But a= t age 26, tragedy struck.  Her father, Jonas Sandell, had…