Grif.Net

A CNN news report confirms Raif Badawi, a political opponent of the Islamic regime controlling his land, was recently sentenced in Saudi Arabia to 10 years in prison and 1,000 lashes for insulting Islam. Sheikh Abdulrahman al-Barrak, a prominent Saudi cleric, claimed that Badawi allegedly said that “Muslims, Jews, Christians,…

DEFINITIONS IN MARRIAGE BY GENDER THINGY (thing-ee) n. >female: Any part under a car’s hood. >male: Fastener at the top of the back of a woman’s dress above the zipper. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. >female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. >male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon)…

A Russian traveler arrived at the Heathrow airport. The immigration officer asked, “Nationality?” The man replied, “Russian”. The officer continued: “Occupation?” Calmly, the Russian answered, “No, just for a short visit!” ~~~ ANSWERS TO QUIZ – in 1901 . . #1. What was the average life expectancy in the U.S.?…

3:13 am. Back home after grueling day at the airports. But safe, sound and somewhat sane after 14 days sojourn around America. Thinking back as a child, I loved to play games with the gang in the neighborhood. As a Senior Citizen now, some of those games have come back…

Ever wonder what life was like in 1901 compared to 2014? On Part #1 of this quiz, give your best guess as to what was happening more than 100 years ago: _____ #1. What was the average life expectancy in the U.S.? _____ #2. What percentage of homes had a…

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationery. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light…

Things I’ve learned as I have aged . . I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sings “Silent Night”. Age 5 I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either. Age 7 I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the…

A woman went to her doctor, worried about her husband’s temper. “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.” The doctor replied, “I have a solution for that. When it seems that your husband is getting…

[Marilyn forwarded this scary warning] One night, Tom heard a knock at his door. He answered it and found a six-foot-tall cockroach. The bug threw him across the room, then left. The next night, the doorbell rang again. The same cockroach slugged him in the stomach and left. The following…

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for…

[Quiz: I give the PROFESSION and you guess the child’s NAME] EXAMPLE: Lawyer’s daughter = SUE Thief’s son Lawyer’s son Doctor ‘s son Meteorologist’s daughter Steam shovel operator’s son Hair stylist’s son Homeopathic doctor’s son Justice of the peace’s daughter Sound stage technician’s son Hot-dog vendor’s son Gambler’s daughter Exercise…

My in-laws are residents at an assisted living complex, so we get to visit there weekly. One day a 90-something lady came into the recreation room holding her clenched fist in the air and announced, “Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand gets a free kiss from me!” It…

[One of more of these pithy statements may be just what the doctor ordered for you today!] “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” ~Margaret Thatcher “If you can’t solve a problem, it’s because you’re playing by the rules.” ~Paul Arden “Only God can…