Grif.Net

[Old friend Steve forwarded this thought I considered worthy of my personal implementation and sharing with you all on the more serious weekend edition of the grif.net blog] A growing number of people find that wearing a pedometer helps them increase their level of daily exercise. The step-counting device is…

When looking for summer jobs, I came across these reports: The Custodians of America were brushing up their resumes since their work was not really picking up. The Balloon Makers formed a union because their work was rapidly expanding. The Fortune Tellers did not form a union because it became…

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look Michael,…

The tire is only flat on the bottom. The trouble with political jokes is they get elected. The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach. The adage ‘Man cannot live by bread alone’ omits the certain need for a roll of duct tape and a can of WD-40.…

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend’s house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy’s mother looked straight into his eyes and said, “I hope you didn’t ask for a second piece of cake.” “No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some…

It was Memorial Day Weekend. Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. The flashing red in his rearview mirror insisted he pull over quickly. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caught so often? He slumped into…

========================================== BACKWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIER by Cranny Fosby ========================================== Backward Christian soldiers, fleeing from the fight, With the cross of Jesus clearly out of sight: Christ our rightful Master stands against the foe, But forward into battle we are chicken to go. Like a mighty tortoise moves the church of God;…

With the new “POLITICALLY CORRECT” language around, I thought as a retired college prof that I should help all parents interpret the end of the year notes and report card you will soon be receiving: You can’t fail a class anymore; you are merely “passing impaired.” You don’t have to…

*I know. I know. People say, “It’s the thought that counts, not the gift,” but couldn’t people think a bit bigger? *On a job application form, an applicant was asked to “Briefly describe yourself.” She responded, “Concise.” She got the job. *Nothing succeeds like a man with no teeth *To…

Very few words in English end in “-gry” . Of course, we all know about “hungry” and “angry”, but can you identify other words ending in “-gry” WITHOUT looking them up? I couldn’t! 1. Puggry = 2. Aggry = 3. Mawgry = 4. Meagry = (answers tomorrow) ~~ Dr Bob…

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor reveals, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled. “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?” he…

Some people over 65 are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We’re unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to the fashions that the designers in NYC, California, and/or Paris inflict upon the world.…

Some people over 65 are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We’re unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to the fashions that the designers in NYC, California, and/or Paris inflict upon the world.…