Grif.Net

[Yeppers. Another day of the week, another bushel basket of bad puns.] The fish were shy, so I assumed they were obviously being koi. If gophers become extinct, the hole ecosystem will die. All waterfowl keep their eyes closed when landing except for one. Obviously that is the Peking Duck.…

[Yeah, I’m enjoying a week of word-play and lousy puns. Deal with it.] My dog has a lot of potential, you just have to unleash it. I wanted to bring a penguin home for a pet, but my parents said that wasn’t going to fly. It’s raining cats and dogs.…

Advice from the Ocean: *Come out of your shell. *Be shore of yourself. *Don’t get tide down. *Avoid pier pressure. *Stay away from anything that smells fishy. *Always sea life’s beauty. *Take time to coast. *Watch out for deep waters; they’re abyssal. *You’re better sailing above than in the saline…

I gave up digging for gold. Seems all my work was in vein. Many wedding dresses were altared during this past month. Sign on a tractor trailer: “If you can’t see my mirrors, that’s no reflection on you”. Going vegetarian is a missed steak. (Steak puns are usually medium, and…

[Grandkids left town, but got to see the bones of a real dinosaur dig and a new (not unveiled yet) Chris Navarro sculpted bronze T-Rex. So my mind is thinking silly jokes for their long ride home] Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the ‘p’ is…

[Special Prayer sent 15 years ago this week by PJ to the Grif.Net] “It seems that every evening as I’m laying here in bed, This tiny little prayer keeps running through my head. God bless my wife and family, and bless all that we do, And thank you for a…

[Today is the last day of a quick visit by my Wisconsin grandkids, so thought I should give them some REALLY LAME riddles to pester their parents with . . . ] What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short In Wyoming, why can’t you…

Compilation of thoughts to remember that may help you make it thru the week 1. Remember, indecision is the key to flexibility 2. Remember, there is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. 3. Remember, happiness is merely the remission of pain. 4. Remember, the facts, although interesting,…

YOU KNOW YOU’RE TOO STRESSED WHEN… You can achieve a “runners high” by sitting up. The sun is too loud. You are missing several days from this week. Trees begin to chase you. You can see individual air molecules vibrating. You wonder if brewing is *really* a necessary step for…

Lord, help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am MDT. Lord, help me to consider people’s feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive. Lord, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they’re usually NOT my fault. Lord, help me to not…

10. I’ve noticed . . these days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief.” 9. I’ve noticed . . you just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes. 8. I’ve noticed . . eventually everyone stops lying about their…

His Name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is brilliant. Kinda esoteric and very, very bright. He became a Christian while attending college. Across the street…

[Since Teresa and I just celebrated our anniversary, we received a number of lovely notes/greetings and congratulations from our friends. And a number of odd words, hopefully meaning well] Congratulations! Cheers to Teresa on another year of suffering and misery. God proved his sense of humor when he matched the…