Grif.Net

[‘Laugh Lab’ conducted surveys a few years back to find the “top joke” in some English-speaking countries] USA Top Joke Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone…

[For my son-in-law “Mr Z”, a prof at Maranatha Baptist University in Wisconsin] The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor were not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a “walk” and the students were free to leave…

[I hear LOTS of “motivational” quips on line, but seldom see “reality” quips. So I add these.] Until you spread your wings, you’ll have no idea how far you can walk. I believe that children are our future. And that terrifies me. Believe in yourself, because everyone you work with…

John received a note in plain text – without punctuation or capitalization and he tried to figure out what Gloria was saying. The letter said” dear john I want a man who knows what love is all about you are generous kind thoughtful people who are not like you admit…

[Al suggested I post this every year at this time, and I concur.] Over the past years, I’ve read with interest stories of folks who were delayed or late and because of that “missed” the tragic Twin Tower collapses of 9/11. *A CEO was late because his son started kindergarten.…

Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress her mother was married in. Betty’s mother was beaming with pride as she gave her consent. Later in the evening, the family gathered in the living room to wait while Betty tried on the…

[Final installation of Engineering conversions] 21) 1 trillion pins – 1 terrapin 22) 10 rations – 1 decoration 23) 100 rations: 1 C-ration 24) 2 monograms – 1 diagram 25) 8 nickels – 2 paradigms 26) 3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital – 1 I.V.…

[More engineering units little known by most people today] 11) Basic unit of laryngitis – 1 hoarsepower 12) Shortest distance between two jokes – a straight line 13) 453.6 graham crackers – 1 pound cake 14) 1 trillion microphones – 1 megaphone 15) 1 million bicycles – 2 megacycles 16)…

ENGINEERING CONVERSION CHART 1) Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter – Eskimo Pi 2) 2000 pounds of Chinese soup –  Won ton 3) 1 millionth of a mouthwash –  1 microscope 4) Time between slipping on a peel & smacking the pavement – 1 bananosecond 5) Weight an…

Has the heaviness of your old fashioned church got you weighed down? Try us! We are the new and improved Lite Church of Wyoming. Studies have shown we have 24% fewer commitments than other churches. We guarantee to trim off guilt, because we are Low-Cal. (Low Calvin, that is. It’s…

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old…

A tough old Wyoming cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this, and lived to be 93! When he died he left fourteen children, twenty-eight grandchildren, thirteen great…

A guy was walking along a Florida beach when he came across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picked up the lamp and gave it a rub. A genie appeared and informed him he had been granted one wish. The guy thought about it carefully before asking, “I…