Grif.Net

[After yesterday’s grif.net top ten, I thought a REAL list might work.] 1. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. 2. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.…

Top 10 Reasons to Procrastinate: 1. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

[Each month we search for high-quality word-play to entertain. Of course, this month we still couldn’t find any, so submit these.] After years of study they have figured out how to remedy bland college cafeteria food. They doctorate. Children should be seen not heard. In other words, allowed but not…

[Final try at some motivational material for the real world and not the utopian workplace you’re in today] Keep Calm. We’ll get to the carrion part in a minute. Looking sharp is easy when you haven’t done any work. Money can’t buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars…

With four granddaughters, I’m always on the lookout for great presents for birthdays or Christmas. A week ago I went into a store to consider buying a Barbie doll play set. “How much is that Barbie in the window?” I asked the shop clerk with a smile. (She was too…

[Daniel S shared this story many years ago and I’ve not forgotten it] When I was in the fifth grade, my classmates and I were struggling through September with our school work. We were especially failing to understand geography, and we expected a major reprimand by month’s end. Instead, our…

[Grif.Net from a teacher in the fall of 1999 just begs to be sent again fifteen years later. Thanks for putting up with a repeat.] It was the beginning of a new school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist’s son handed her a…

[PH forwarded some of his thoughts to us. Strange dude.] I could hear music coming out of my printer the other day. Evidently the paper was jammin’ again. I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height. They didn’t like me…

[A friend shared this experience.] My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to set up email and Facebook accounts. Then we accessed the popular “Google”, and we told her it could give tons of information on…

[Another dose of sayings designed for the real world, not some corporate slogan.] Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Sometimes your spirit tags along with it. If you think it’s lonely at the top, just wait ’til you try the bottom. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.…

[Yes. I agree that I may need a new set of friends.] I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. ~~ My friend’s husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores. One day he came…

[More pastoral sayings you’re heard before and are still true!] “Did it ever occur to you that nothing ever occurred to God?” “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” “Many people spend decades gathering bundles of sticks to build bridges they…

[An electrical engineer friend shared some of his experiences] When I was a high school student, and had my fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, I informed my teacher, “I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, and I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I…