Grif.Net

[More “trouble” for husbands with big mouths. ML shares these stories. Do not know if they are true.] While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a…

A little boy went up to his father and asked: “Dad, where did my intelligence come from?” The father replied. “Well, son, you must have got it from your mother. I still have mine.” ~~ “My wife got me to believe in religion.” “Really?” “Yeah. Until I married her I…

[I serve as election judge today, so grif.net humor is posted at 5 am. Ugh. I get to initial ballots (after my co-workers vet each person; we take elections seriously in Wyoming – this isn’t Illinois) to make them valid. Praying that Americans will make some RIGHT choices today.] Overheard…

[First of each month I share some really lousy puns and wordplays. No exception for November. Sorry.] I had a happy childhood. My Dad would put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill. Those were Goodyears. My Ultra Sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other…

Did you know this weekend is one of the most significant times in church history? No, I’m not talking about Halloween, Day of the Dead or All Soul’s Day. I’m talking about ‘Reformation Day’. And even though I didn’t see neighborhood kids going door-to-door dressed like Martin Luther or Ulrich…

Chocolate is big business, and Halloween is its biggest holiday. According to an October 2013 survey from the National Confectioners Association, 72% of all candy spending on Halloween will be on chocolate. Last year, more than $12.6 billion was spent on chocolate in the United States, an increase of nearly…

When she got home from school, a seven-year-old girl told her mother that Jeremy had kissed her after class. “How did that happen?” asked the mother, shocked. “It wasn’t easy. Three other girls had to hold him down for me!” ~~ A little boy was performing in the school play…

NOTICE: Special Night Classes for men at our College will be starting soon. Due to the high level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of ten applicants. These topics will be covered this semester: Topic 1: “Toilet Paper: Does It Grow on the Holders?” Round table discussion as…

Wife: The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. Husband: Which is this? ~~ Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Take it or Leave it. ~~ Husband to a friend: My new bride has to be the worst cook. At our…

[Can’t blame my pain meds for this stuff. No medical marijuana around the house. Nothing culpable except a tired mind.] I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something. If towels could tell jokes, they would probably have a dry sense of humor. I intend to live forever. So far,…

[The Weekend Grif.Net is always a serious look at issues.] Elections are coming up in a week and some of you may not know that I am “Pro-Choice”. Of course, NOT as it is improperly defined in our post-Christian America. I believe that everyone has a free CHOICE to make…

A very religious woman was deeply shocked when her new neighbors asked her son if he could borrow the family’s lawn-mower on Sunday morning. “The very idea,” she exclaimed, “of cutting grass on the Lord’s day! How shameful!” “God would not be pleased with such conduct, and we will not…

Thanks to the miracle of fertility treatment, a woman was able to have a baby at age 70. When she was discharged from hospital, her relatives came to visit. “Can we see the baby?” they asked. “Not yet,” said the 70-year-old mother. Fifteen minutes later, they asked again. “Can we…