Grif.Net

10. There’s a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler. 9. The pews have camper hookups. 8. You overhear the pastor telling the soundman to have extra discs on hand to record today’s sermon. 7. The preacher has brought chips and dip to the pulpit. 6. The…

Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger’s reservation that showed his name as “Cole, Pheven.” That looked strange, so I asked, “I’d like to be certain our information is correct. What is your first name”? “It’s Stephen,” he replied. “I hope the reservation agent got it…

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The paramedics rushed him to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open-heart surgery. He awakened from surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed…

At church one morning, my friend Gwen was about to start her Sunday School Class for Four-Year-Olds when a little boy showed up without any identification. Gwen managed to get his first name, but couldn’t get his last name. “Brian, what is your Daddy’s name?” she asked. “Daddy,” he replied.…

[After church yesterday (when we learned some new songs), we’ve decided to simply revise hymns for us old Boomers who are now on Social Security. Here are some ideas] “Precious Lord, Take My Hand, I’ve Fallen and I can’t Get Up” “It Is Well with My Soul, But My Knees…

It is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God; to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet, with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, announced…

[I get notes from my friends and loyal Grif.Net readers on how their life is going. Thank you. Yes, you know who you are.] I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. I spilled spot remover on my dog.…

The minister was passing a group of middle-school teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. “Nothing much, Pastor,” replied one boy. “We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life.” “Boys, boys, boys!” he scolded. “I’m shocked. When…

[DC and others asked questions to which I had no easy answer] If Satan ever loses his hair, will there be hell toupee? If the choir leader works only part-time, is he a semi-conductor? If you go around singing “Deck the Halls”, do you think that will make Mr. and…

[The Great War to “end all wars”, 1914-1918, is 100 years ago now. I am stopping the frivolous humor of the daily Grif.Net on this Veteran’s Day to pay tribute to those who gave the last full measure of devotion in that war, and to all who faithfully serve today…

I’ve decided to cook the prime rib to serve at the potluck supper. The pastor’s 1992 mini-van has served him long enough. Let’s buy him a new Lexus SUV. Let’s park in the back of the lot, so those older people can get a parking place near the door! For…

Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving a trail of shoes, socks, and…

Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over-time. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists. I…