Grif.Net

I was nervous enough driving on the Pacific Coast Highway with breath-taking scenery and heart-stopping curves. I came up to a slow-moving van and on the back was a bumper sticker. “Caution: Blind Man Driving” I thought it a joke, of course, but was a little hesitant to try to…

Out in California we were taking the kids to see a deep cave. I told them there was nothing to worry about, but the youngest was still afraid and asked the tour guide “Are there any bats in this cave?” The ranger smiled reassuringly. “There were, son. But don’t worry,…

Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash 1. I was forced to wash as a child. 2. People who wash are hypocrites — They think they’re cleaner than others. 3. There are so many kinds of soap, I could never decide which was right. 4. I used to wash, but it…

A man had been driving all night up the winding Pacific Coast Highway and by daylight was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at Monterey, and park somewhere quiet along a golf course so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have…

[Pebble Beach is beautiful, reminding us of MORE fun quotations about that four-letter word “golf”] Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. — Lee Trevino The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. — Billy Graham If…

[Collection of famous golf sayings, submitted by the father of a professional golfer] Man blames fate for all other accidents but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. — Bishop Fulton Sheen Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. How childlike do golf players become? This…

I order a bran muffin every day at the bakery since I am one of their regular customers. An opinion without 3.1415 is just an onion. I use a rifle rather than a bow-and-arrow when deer hunting because I want more bang for my buck. Skinny people are easy to…

[REPRINT from a grif.net blog in 2013. Al sent this BACK to me, saying sadly that after events in the Charleston church prayer meeting, we may have to rethink this advice. Our hearts and prayers go out to the church and families of those murdered while at Prayer Meeting.] Some…

[Chuck Swindoll tells this wonderful story of his own life] Years ago my older son, then a teenager, and I dropped by the local Hallmark shop to find Cynthia a card for Mother’s Day. Somewhat bored with the process, Curt wandered back to the posters and soon called me to…

[Yep. Today is our 45th wedding anniversary. And yes, my wife is an angel (always up in the air harping). Here are some “marriage/anniversary” one-liners that I found funny. Wife? Not so much . . ] My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. A good…

What do you call a fellow who is . . Hiding in a hole: Phil Sleeping on your porch: Matt Hanging on your living room wall: Art Sleeping in your mail box each month: Bill Being towed behind a boat: Skip Camping on the beach: Sandy Flying over the fence:…

[A loyal grif.net reader from Texas shares a shocking story] I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I noticed an ISIS Muslim with a large knife sneaking through my next door neighbor’s garden toward his house. Suddenly my neighbor came from out…

[With my oldest grandson driving now, this story from a friend hit home to all who are taking that “test” for a permit/license.] I had given our daughter, who was 15 at the time, a drivers manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I…