Grif.Net

[Many churches have used signs or billboards with “heavenly messages” to encourage attendance. Here are some sent from a Florida grif.net reader.] Let’s meet at My house Sunday before the game. ~ God C’mon over and bring the kids. ~ God What part of “Thou Shalt Not” didn’t you understand?…

July 4th weekend and two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning and that they were not attending church. To make it worse, the fish weren’t biting anyway. The first guy eventually said: “Man, I made a mistake. I should have listened to…

There is the story of a pastor who got up last Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our commitment to world-wide missions for 2015. The bad news is, it’s still out there…

[A few weeks ago I received an autographed copy of Scott Walker’s book and have enjoyed reading it. On his entrance officially this week into US Presidential politics, he sent my wife and I a letter. The weekend grif.net is always more serious and yes, sometimes political since our rights…

[For ten weeks, in each Friday edition of the Grif.Net blog, we will focus on real Newspaper Headlines gathered over the past years] 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Half of U.S. High…

It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. We have enough “youth”. How about a fountain of “smart”? Learn from your parents’ mistake. Use birth control. Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then…

[Jessica sent this in and blessed my heart] When I took my young cousin to a carnival in Ottawa, I bought her a helium balloon. She carried it around all day without breaking or losing it. After we returned to my house, she began running around the yard, tripped and…

[Tim in Texas sent in these clues about high-tech Rednecks] You KNOW you are a “High-Tech Redneck” if . . **You take your smart phone to the outhouse to read your e-mail. **Your e-mail address ends in “.over.yonder.com.” **Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined. **Your presence…

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest…

[Much has been written about the recent Court decisions in the US. Here is the conclusion by one of the Justices himself, and my own position.] “I write separately to call attention to this Court’s threat to American democracy. This practice of constitutional revision by an unelected committee of nine,…

[For July/August, each Friday Grif.Net will focus on real Newspaper Headlines garnered over the past years] March Planned For Next August Blind Bishop Appointed to See Lingerie Shipment Hijacked – Thief Gives Police the Slip L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal by Landslide Patient at Death’s Door – Doctors Pull Him…

An old Geezer retired from farming but soon became very bored. He had “doctored” his cows over the years, so he opened a “clinic” and put an ad out that read: “Doc Geezer’s: Get Cured, $500. If I can’t Cure you, Get Back $1,000.” In town, a young lawyer was…

[Final batch of tips for effective driving in California] **If California Highway Patrol attempts to pull you over, hit the accelerator. You won’t get away, but it’s guaranteed you’ll make live TV. Towards the end of the chase, be sure to throw random items out of your window. It will…