Grif.Net

[For July/August, each Friday Grif.Net will focus on real Newspaper Headlines garnered over the past years] County Officials to Talk Rubbish President Carter Plans Swell Deficit Caribbean Islands Drift to Left Farmer Bill Dies in House Syrian Head Seeks Arms Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Hershey…

A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. He commanded, “Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it’s the brig for you!”…

An ancient Babylonian General was once involved in a plot to overthrow the king. His plot included a number of followers in the upper ranks of the army. However, his plot was uncovered, and the king threw him in jail, sentencing him to death without a trial. However, from the…

One day, a man from Prague came to visit his friend in Southern California. When asked what he wanted to see, the visitor replied, “I would like to see the world-famous San Diego Zoo.” To his delight, his host took him to the Zoo. As they were touring the grounds,…

[On the first weekday of the month we offer bad puns. August is no exception. Will try out some word-plays on cooking this month.] Do bakers with a sense of humor only bake wry bread? The best way to make an apple crumble is to torture it for 10 minutes.…

[From Time Magazine, January 02, 1956] On the Christmas cards that Presidential Candidate Adlai Stevenson sent out during the week, acknowledging cards he received, he struck a humble note. His card bore the prayer of an unknown Confederate soldier. I asked God for strength, that I might achieve. I was…

[For July/August, each Friday Grif.Net will focus on real Newspaper Headlines garnered over the past years] Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers House Passes Gas Tax onto Senate Police Discover Crack in Wyoming Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan Many Antiques Seen…

[My good buddy Ken H from MinneSOta, forwarded this and since I was born in that desolate wilderness, I laughed out loud . . ] Pop – Elsewhere: a sound that can be annoying or startling. In Minnesota: carbonated beverages. Winter – Elsewhere: a season that has cold temperatures. Maybe…

[This is a public service message for Women, to better understand Males.] “Because I’m a man”, I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger. I mean, how could he know where we’re…

[This is a public service message for Women, to better understand Males.] “Because I’m a man”, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in. “Because…

In a small fishing village in Holland, a volunteer rescue team was needed in cases of emergency. One night the winds raged, the clouds burst and a gale force storm capsized a fishing boat at sea. Stranded and in trouble, the crew sent out the S.O.S. The captain of the…

[For July/August, each Friday Grif.Net will focus on real Newspaper Headlines gathered over the past years] State Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Fund Set Up for Beating Victim’s…

To close each day’s activities where I worked at the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World at Lake Buena Vista, Florida, a huge fireworks display lights up the sky. One night I noticed a small boy about three years old perched on his father’s shoulder. The child sat mesmerized, aware…