Grif.Net

[Your early Christmas present is here; grif.net = monthly offering of word plays and puns on the first of every = month]   Did you know that all male deer have buck = teeth?   They arrested the owner of a threatening bull — he = was brought up on…

[Here are a dozen MORE ideas for us senior citizens = to use in our strenuous daily workout]   1) = Jumping on the bandwagon   2) = Balancing the books   3) = Running around in circles   4) = Eating crow   5) = Tooting my own horn…

Here are a dozen ideas for strenuous activities = that do not require a lot of physical exercise. You are invited to use = this program without charge.   1) = Beating around the bush   2) = Jumping to conclusions   3) = Climbing the walls   4) =…

On a remote island lived a native group of little = people called “Trids”.  Their only enemy was an evil = giant that would appear randomly and beat and pummel, stomp and kick = these natives mercilessly.  Each year they formed a religious = procession and climbed a high mountain…

“We = Gather Together” uses a = familiar folk melody from turn-of-the-16th-Century Holland = and words of “thanksgiving” BUT has nothing to do with the = American Thanksgiving holiday.  It celebrates the Dutch victory in = AD 1597 at Turnhout.   The Republic = of the Seven United Nether Lands…

[Many people still wonder why we have 2000+ on the = Grif.Net payroll]   Grif.Net = Director of Nutritional Supplements =3D Rose Hips   Grif.Net = Head of Photography =3D Len Scappon   Grif.Net = Creative Humor Director =3D Drew A. Blank   Grif.Net = Director of Unemployment Studies =3D…

Due to budget constraints, the = Board of the Daily Planet advised Perry White that he had to let one of = his star reporters go. He was really overwhelmed about the magnitude of = the decision. "Who should go, Clark or Lois?" He actually did = some praying, which…

Status updates from my = ‘friends’:   “I stole a futon = from a shop. I think the police are after me, so I have been lying = low.”   “People who do not = use a lot of punctuation deserve a long = sentence.” “This Uber driver is the…

A middle eastern king was down on his money = and began to sell off his valuables. The last of these was the Star of = the Euphrates, at that time the most valuable diamond in existence. He = went to a pawnbroker who offered him 100,000 rials for it.…

[Still looking for T-shirt = ideas] “Don’t grow up; it’s a = trap”   “Love is how excited your dog gets when you come = home”   “Jesus is coming soon. Eat dessert = first”   “You’re never too old for nap = time”   “Bacon is the answer. What…

“THANKS TO = GOD”August L. Storm, 1891   Thanks to God for my = Redeemer,Thanks for all Thou dost provide!Thanks for times now = but a memory,Thanks for Jesus by my side!Thanks for pleasant, = balmy springtime,Thanks for dark and stormy fall!Thanks for = tears by now forgotten,Thanks for peace…

Out on the reservation, an Indian consulted = his Medicine Man about a pain in his stomach that had persisted for many = months. "For something as long as that," = said the Medicine Man, "I have a more drastic remedy than the herbs = I normally prescribe. Chew on…

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country = debtor down in the delta.   "Is = Fred home"? he asked the woman who answered the = door.   "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred’s = gone for cotton."   The next = week, the collector tried again.  …