Grif.Net

I grew up in a tough = inner city neighborhood. How tough? Not mentioning names, but a kid I = knew sat down to write a Christmas gift list to Jesus, rather than = Santa, to be sure it would be answered.   He first wrote, = ‘Dear Jesus, I…

DJT forwarded this = version of a “Christmas Songs” quiz to see if grif.net = readers can figure out what well-known Christmas songs these words are = describing.   1.  My sole desire for the yuletide = season is receipt of a pair of central incisors   2.  Celestial messengers…

[Want to know how we come up with our daily drivel? = Here are some co-workers we utilize]   Grif.Net = Complaint Line =3D Levon Hold   Grif.Net = Commencement Speaker =3D Gladys Overwith   Grif.Net = Transportation Specialist =3D Minnie Van Driver   Grif.Net = Sensitivity Trainer =3D Ophelia…

[Jokes for the = younger grif.net readers . . . but face it, most adults will groan just = as loudly as the kids]   What do you get from = a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.   What do you call a = cow with six inch legs? Ground beef.…

December that year appeared bleak. As a newly single = parent of two small boys, I worked two jobs to pay our bills. At times, = it seemed I earned just enough salary to pay the babysitter, with = nothing left over for the basics. Then it got worse. In…

[We’ve posted possible t-shirt messages three = times, but loyal/bored grif.net readers keep sending me more = ideas] "Where am I, and what am I doing = here?"   “I did not hit you. I high-fived your = face”   "Just put the chocolate down and = back away slowly"…

[A friend on Facebook asked for “any = advice” you could give.  Here is a sampling of suggestions = from his friends – some ‘good’ and some = ‘other’.]   Never take a = sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night   Never pee on = an electric…

These Three Wings of KFC Are   Good = Christian Men Rejoice (but be careful of excessive displays of = emotion)   I’ll be home for Christmas (cuz we have services and = I’m the pastor and I have to be there)   Whose Child = is This? (the Nursery…

His wife was scrambling eggs when her husband burst = into the kitchen.   "Careful," he cried. "Be Careful! = You’re cooking too many at once. Too many! Scramble them! Now! We need = more butter. They’re going to stick! Careful! Now scramble them again! = Hurry up! Are you…

Good News: We baptized seven people = today in the river. Bad News: We lost two of them in the swift = current.   Good News: The high school girls’ basketball team = finally won a game. Bad News: They beat the high school boys’ basketball = team.   Good…

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid = bows, strands of twinkling lights, and shiny balls; but do not have = love, I’m just another decorator.   If I slave away in the kitchen, baking = dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals, and arranging a = beautifully adorned…

After two dozen ideas (in Nov 29 and 30 grif.net = blogs), we are NOT finished with suggestions for your fitness without = hard work.=A0 Thanks to those who contributed your favorite = non-exercises1   1) = Picking up the pieces   2) = Running people down   3) =…

[Your early Christmas present is here; grif.net = monthly offering of word plays and puns on the first of every = month]   Did you know that all male deer have buck = teeth?   They arrested the owner of a threatening bull — he = was brought up on…