Grif.Net

Two less-than-straight-A college students were = taking their important final exam in Wisconsin History, which happened = to be completion (fill-in-the-blank).  The last question read, = "Old MacDonald had a _________."   Josh = was stumped.  He had no idea of the answer.  He knew he needed = to get…

When God created the world for humankind to prosper = and multiply, He decided to give each group two virtues.  Examples = – He made the Japanese patient & hardworking; He made the Germans = tenacious & hard-headed; He made the Americans organized & = pragmatic, etc.   When =…

Kyle (6) and = Johnny (4) were about to eat dinner with their babysitter when Kyle told = her, "You can’t sit in Daddy’s seat!"   "Daddy’s not home," the babysitter = replied kindly. "Since I’m responsible for you while he’s gone, I = can sit here.  Today, I’m the…

04/22/17 Weekend Grif.Net – Keeper of the Spring [Story from Peter = Marshall, Chaplain of the US Senate] The "Keeper of the Spring," was a quiet forest dweller who lived = high above an Austrian village along the eastern slope of the Alps. The = old gentleman had been hired…

If you call for reservations at the library, they may = be all booked up.   I = don’t normally judge people, but if you dress your dog in human = clothes, I will judge you.   If = you’re making plans to survive the end of the world, you…

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to = beat.   Never attend a theatrical performance about puns. = It’s just a play on words .   A good = farmer is outstanding in his field.   Every = calendar’s days are numbered.   You should = fire your…

It takes a = disciplined spirit to endure the monastery on Mount Serat in Spain. One = of the fundamental requirements of this religious order is that the = young men must maintain silence. Opportunities to speak are scheduled = once every two years, at which time they are allowed…

A game warden = noticed how old Bud consistently caught more fish than anyone else. = Other guys would only catch three or four a day, but Bud would come in = off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed = with freshly caught bass.…

[Observations and quotations about the foibles of = the English language] “I like the word ‘indolence.’ It = makes my laziness seem classy.” “The quantity of consonants in the English = language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. = When a Bostonian ‘pahks’ his ‘cah,’ the…

Jeremy was born with a twisted = body and a slow mind. At the age of 12 he was still in second grade, = seemingly unable to learn. His teacher, Doris Miller, often became = exasperated with him. He would squirm in his seat, drool and make = grunting noises.…

[Pithy, = non-taxable statements about paying our income taxes] People who = save their money for a rainy day end up getting soaked by the = government.   Taxation is a = bizarre system in which you spend money, save receipts, and somehow = supposed to come out ahead.  …

[Overheard at the = water cooler during our week of jokes about = taxes] "I put = all my investment money into taxes.  They’re the only thing that’s = sure to go up!"   "The = Government says we should be proud to be paying taxes.  I think I =…

[Continuing our week of random = ‘laugh-or-you’ll-cry’ jokes about = taxes]   My retirement advisor shared = some ideas. "The upside of what I’m proposing is a huge profit. The = downside may result in 800 hours of community service."   America = is a land of untold wealth. Most…