Grif.Net

Boy dialing 911   Boy: Hello? = I need your help.   911: All = right, what is it?   Boy: Two = girls are fighting over me!   911: So = what’s your emergency?   Boy: The = ugly one is winning.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected]…

I just returned from Dr. Visine’s funeral.  = I’d like to report there was not a dry eye in the house. =   I just got word that if I did not stop drinking I = would go blind.  I’m thinking that by age 70 I’ve = pretty much seen…

[Always fun to see what = my friends claim is their “status” on Facebook or = Twitter] ·         = I think it’s = really cool how the word "OK" is a sideways = person ·         = T.G.I.A. = (Thank goodness I’m awesome!) ·         = A big shout = out to…

[Visiting a Christian College and heard these = “lines” from guys looking for a girl before the school year = is over.  Feel free to use any you’d like]   While = having morning devotions, God told me to come and talk to you. =   I’m really into the…

Somebody said = that it couldn’t be done,But he with a chuckle repliedThat maybe = it couldn’t, but he would be oneWho wouldn’t say so "till he = tried."   So = he buckled right in with the trace of a grinOn his face. If he = worried, he hid…

[20 years ago the Grif.Net gave this list.  = Realize little needs to be revised in “The World’s 20 Shortest = Books”]   20. = Everything Women Know About Men   19. = Staple Your Way to Success   18. = Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean   17.…

I think I’m going to hire the = same landscaper I used last year – he was a hard worker and really easy = to get a lawn with.   I am warning my granddaughters = never date a tennis player.  Seems like love means nothing to = them.  …

[Additional new “facts” teachers share = from test pages]     = – The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top = and you sit on the bottom.     = – We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because…

[Some teachers  collect “odd = facts” from papers and tests of what students THINK are correct = answers.  But fall short a tad.]     = – The future of "I give" is "I = take."     = – The parts of speech are lungs and air.    …

[Yes, everyone is excited to get a new round of old = puns on the first of every month J ]   Haunted = French pancakes give me the crepes.   I was going = to buy some Velcro, but it seemed like a rip off.   Bakers share =…

Just for today I will try to = live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I = can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I = had to keep it up for a lifetime.   Just for…

A man walked in the shop and ordered a Polish = sausage and coke. "You must be a Packer fan" was all that was = said.   "Wait a minute", replied the man. = "If I had asked for a bratwurst and beer, would you have said I was =…

George Bredehorn sends this in.  You are given = 3 letters that appear consecutively anywhere in a word. Try to find a = common word for each "partword".   ____________ WBO ________________   ____________ WBE ________________   ____________ RWO ________________   ____________ BST ________________   ____________ MPH ________________   ____________…