Grif.Net

[A friend near Parris = Island, SC shared some bumper stickers for the Memorial Day Weekend. = Here are the few that were fit for grif net = humor] USMC: When it absolutely, positively must be = destroyed overnight.   When in doubt, empty the = magazine.   To err…

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the = Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join = the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do = something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier returned a day…

[“What’s in a name? = A rose is a rose by any other name.” —William Shakespeare. = Thanks to Neil who added some commentary to these oddly-named = churches] Accident Baptist Church (in = Accident, MD) is = obviously not Calvinist   ·         = First Church of the Last Chance…

Love = doesn’t make the word go ’round. Love is what makes the ride = worthwhile.– Franklin P. Jones Love is an exploding = cigar we willingly smoke.– Linda = Barry   I=E2=80=99m looking for someone = who will love me for who I think I am.– Tim = Lachowski…

[June, notorious for weddings, = is quickly approaching.  Thought I would share my advice on = love.  Then read OTHER people’s advice and share = theirs’ instead.] When it comes to finding available men in = Minnesota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.– Garrison = Keillor  …

Continuation on = examples of the biblical influence on the English language, specifically = with phrases or idioms now widely adopted and known.  How many of = these do you know? (I added the biblical reference if you need = help)   16. “Nothing but _______ and bones” (Job =…

The Bible has = influenced and transformed many lives, leaving a mark forever on = millions in the English-speaking world.  The cultural influence of = the Bible impacted phrases or idioms now widely adopted and known.  = How many of these do you know? (I added the biblical reference if…

[These have been = compiled from decades of experiences of hundreds of people and are not = “funny”, but rather attempt at being “helpful” = so your fortune will come true. Feel free to discuss them over General = Tsao’s chicken or Moo Shoo Pork.]   1.) Do not grab…

A = man walked out to the street and caught a taxi the second he waved his = hand.  He got into the taxi.   Cabbie: "Perfect timing. You’re just like = Frank."   Passenger: = "Who?"    Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did = everything right all…

[My good friend Ken is asking questions again. What = can you say? Minnesotans: can’t live with them and can’t = live with them.]   Q. What do = you use to get corn cobs smooth? A. = Kernel sanders   Q. What = branch of the military are babies…

[Dr Tim saved a Grif.Net blog from five years = ago this May and shared it with a smile.  So why can’t I = “reuse” a “vintage” = entry?] I always help the kids in church give me the = "right" answers to questions I ask during a sermon. So…

A baby asked God, the = Heavenly Father:   “They tell me you are = sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so = small and helpless?”   “Your angel will be = waiting for you and will take care of you.”  …

When I see = lovers’ initials carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s = cute. I just = think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a = date.   When people = go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see it I…