Grif.Net

[Another episode of taxes = – Q&A]   Q: How are an apple and a = I.R.S. auditor alike?A: They both look good hanging from a tree. = Q: What’s the difference between an IRS worker and a carp? = A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other…

[A week of random = ‘you-have-to-laugh-or-you’ll-cry-jokes’ about = taxes]   If a politician and an IRS = agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you = go to lunch or read the newspaper?   Tax Day is the = day that ordinary Americans send…

The six most = important words: “I admit that I was = wrong.”   The five most = important words: “You did a great = job.”   The four most = important words: “What do you = think?”   The three = most important words: “Could you please . .…

In = addition to our “old words/phrases” of the past couple days = we see a different side of language from Canada. “Yanks must be = pretty confused when we tell them that a Coffee Crisp costs about a = Loonie, pretty good deal eh? Or, I’d like a dozen…

8. POPPYCOCK. = Have you ever = listened to somebody trying to talk about something that they know = absolutely nothing about? Like, you know that what they’re saying = is completely untrue, yet they insist on continuing to talk? Not = laughing! Poppycock has nothing to do with poppies…

Even native = English speakers are constantly learning new words that they never knew = existed, even though many have been around for hundreds of years. Just = understanding one more word will help you make your way through the = minefield that is English. Here are a few =E2=80=98new=E2=80=99…

H= eavens to Murgatroyd! Murgatroyd? When was the last time you heard the = word Murgatroyd? There are so many “Lost Words from our youth. = ‘Words gone as surely as the buggy whip! Sad = really!   T= he other day, a not so elderly (65) lady said something…

[Keeping up the tradition on first workday of the = month to offer some really bad puns]   Doctors tell = us there are over two billion people who are overweight.  These, of = course, are only round figures.   Venison for = dinner again? Oh deer!   I followed…

Baking A Cake (author unknown)   A = little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going = wrong. School, family problems, severe health problems, etc. Meanwhile, = Grandma is baking a cake. She asks her grandson if he would like a = snack, which, of course, he does.…

I took an IQ = test, but thankfully the results were negative.   Can someone = help me know at what age I should tell my pets = they’re adopted?   Don’t spell = ‘part’ backwards. It’s a trap.   My wallet is = like an onion; when I open…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_00EA_01D2A92E.7D69EF50 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_00EB_01D2A92E.7D69EF50″ ——=_NextPart_001_00EB_01D2A92E.7D69EF50 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [credit Dear Abby for this one] When God passed out brains, I thought he said trains, And asked for the slow one. When God passed out looks, I thought he said books…

Here are top ten = “kind ways” to refer to that colleague at work who is just a = little slow on the uptake: 1. He is a few peas short of a tuna = casserole   2. She is one Froot = Loop shy of a full bowl  …

[This is a rerun of a grif.net = from ten years ago. And still reasonably = humorous.] April 1st is National = Atheist’s Day All generalizations are = false Thou shalt not steal. The IRS = hates competition Everyone should believe the BIG = BANG theory. God spoke and BANG,…