Grif.Net

[Yes, everyone is excited to get a new round of old = puns on the first of every month J ]   Haunted = French pancakes give me the crepes.   I was going = to buy some Velcro, but it seemed like a rip off.   Bakers share =…

Just for today I will try to = live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I = can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I = had to keep it up for a lifetime.   Just for…

A man walked in the shop and ordered a Polish = sausage and coke. "You must be a Packer fan" was all that was = said.   "Wait a minute", replied the man. = "If I had asked for a bratwurst and beer, would you have said I was =…

George Bredehorn sends this in.  You are given = 3 letters that appear consecutively anywhere in a word. Try to find a = common word for each "partword".   ____________ WBO ________________   ____________ WBE ________________   ____________ RWO ________________   ____________ BST ________________   ____________ MPH ________________   ____________…

Two less-than-straight-A college students were = taking their important final exam in Wisconsin History, which happened = to be completion (fill-in-the-blank).  The last question read, = "Old MacDonald had a _________."   Josh = was stumped.  He had no idea of the answer.  He knew he needed = to get…

When God created the world for humankind to prosper = and multiply, He decided to give each group two virtues.  Examples = – He made the Japanese patient & hardworking; He made the Germans = tenacious & hard-headed; He made the Americans organized & = pragmatic, etc.   When =…

Kyle (6) and = Johnny (4) were about to eat dinner with their babysitter when Kyle told = her, "You can’t sit in Daddy’s seat!"   "Daddy’s not home," the babysitter = replied kindly. "Since I’m responsible for you while he’s gone, I = can sit here.  Today, I’m the…

04/22/17 Weekend Grif.Net – Keeper of the Spring [Story from Peter = Marshall, Chaplain of the US Senate] The "Keeper of the Spring," was a quiet forest dweller who lived = high above an Austrian village along the eastern slope of the Alps. The = old gentleman had been hired…

If you call for reservations at the library, they may = be all booked up.   I = don’t normally judge people, but if you dress your dog in human = clothes, I will judge you.   If = you’re making plans to survive the end of the world, you…

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to = beat.   Never attend a theatrical performance about puns. = It’s just a play on words .   A good = farmer is outstanding in his field.   Every = calendar’s days are numbered.   You should = fire your…

It takes a = disciplined spirit to endure the monastery on Mount Serat in Spain. One = of the fundamental requirements of this religious order is that the = young men must maintain silence. Opportunities to speak are scheduled = once every two years, at which time they are allowed…

A game warden = noticed how old Bud consistently caught more fish than anyone else. = Other guys would only catch three or four a day, but Bud would come in = off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed = with freshly caught bass.…

[Observations and quotations about the foibles of = the English language] “I like the word ‘indolence.’ It = makes my laziness seem classy.” “The quantity of consonants in the English = language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. = When a Bostonian ‘pahks’ his ‘cah,’ the…