Grif.Net

[My good friend Ken is asking questions again. What = can you say? Minnesotans: can’t live with them and can’t = live with them.]   Q. What do = you use to get corn cobs smooth? A. = Kernel sanders   Q. What = branch of the military are babies…

[Dr Tim saved a Grif.Net blog from five years = ago this May and shared it with a smile.  So why can’t I = “reuse” a “vintage” = entry?] I always help the kids in church give me the = "right" answers to questions I ask during a sermon. So…

A baby asked God, the = Heavenly Father:   “They tell me you are = sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so = small and helpless?”   “Your angel will be = waiting for you and will take care of you.”  …

When I see = lovers’ initials carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s = cute. I just = think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a = date.   When people = go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see it I…

Boy dialing 911   Boy: Hello? = I need your help.   911: All = right, what is it?   Boy: Two = girls are fighting over me!   911: So = what’s your emergency?   Boy: The = ugly one is winning.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected]…

I just returned from Dr. Visine’s funeral.  = I’d like to report there was not a dry eye in the house. =   I just got word that if I did not stop drinking I = would go blind.  I’m thinking that by age 70 I’ve = pretty much seen…

[Always fun to see what = my friends claim is their “status” on Facebook or = Twitter] ·         = I think it’s = really cool how the word "OK" is a sideways = person ·         = T.G.I.A. = (Thank goodness I’m awesome!) ·         = A big shout = out to…

[Visiting a Christian College and heard these = “lines” from guys looking for a girl before the school year = is over.  Feel free to use any you’d like]   While = having morning devotions, God told me to come and talk to you. =   I’m really into the…

Somebody said = that it couldn’t be done,But he with a chuckle repliedThat maybe = it couldn’t, but he would be oneWho wouldn’t say so "till he = tried."   So = he buckled right in with the trace of a grinOn his face. If he = worried, he hid…

[20 years ago the Grif.Net gave this list.  = Realize little needs to be revised in “The World’s 20 Shortest = Books”]   20. = Everything Women Know About Men   19. = Staple Your Way to Success   18. = Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean   17.…

I think I’m going to hire the = same landscaper I used last year – he was a hard worker and really easy = to get a lawn with.   I am warning my granddaughters = never date a tennis player.  Seems like love means nothing to = them.  …

[Additional new “facts” teachers share = from test pages]     = – The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top = and you sit on the bottom.     = – We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because…

[Some teachers  collect “odd = facts” from papers and tests of what students THINK are correct = answers.  But fall short a tad.]     = – The future of "I give" is "I = take."     = – The parts of speech are lungs and air.    …