A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and =
talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, "I’m =
going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right =
back."
He =
looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. =
Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: "I’m =
glad you help your wife. I don’t help because when I do, my wife =
does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no =
thanks."
I =
went back to sit with him and explained that I did not "help" =
my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am =
a partner at home and through that relationship are divided functions, =
but it is not a "help" to do household =
chores.
I do =
not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to =
clean it too.
I do =
not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook =
too.
I do =
not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those =
dishes.
I do =
not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and =
my job is to be a father.
I do =
not help my wife to wash, dry or fold clothes, because the clothes are =
also mine and my children.
I am =
not a ‘help’ at home, I am ‘part’ of the house. =
And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after =
his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed =
sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc that YOU said =
“Thank you”.
But a =
thank you of the type: ‘Wow, sweetheart !!! You are =
fantastic’!
Does =
that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a =
lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of =
excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my =
friend?
Maybe =
because for many men, our macho culture has shown that everything is =
‘her’ job.
Perhaps you’ve been taught that all this =
must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you =
wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her =
a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to =
eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs. Work together and share the =
good and the tedious times.
The =
real change of our society begins in our homes. Let us teach our sons =
and daughters the real sense of being a partner with the ones we =
love!
~~
Dr Bob Griffin =
[email protected] www.grif.net =
"Jesus Knows Me, This I =
Love!"