Grif.Net

[A friend in England swears = these signs have been spotted in public places around her city.  = Somehow, I believe it.]   Sign in a London department = store: Bargain basement upstairs.   Sign in an office: Would the = person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring…

The = first 70 years of childhood are the hardest.   Does = running late count as exercise?   I am 100% done = with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.   When I = was a kid, I wanted to be older.  THIS is not what I =…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_00DF_01D32AC2.64552500 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_00E0_01D32AC2.64552500″ ——=_NextPart_001_00E0_01D32AC2.64552500 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [I will not forget the unspeakable evil of 9/11. Many have asked each year for this post to be reprinted. I will oblige today.] Over the past years, I’ve read with interest…

[Rick Stedman of Fox News wrote = this after the hurricane and floods in Texas, but thought it might = continue to be a good commentary on Irma and = beyond]   When hurricanes like Harvey = devastate so many lives, where is God?  That’s a really good = question—one…

Checked the = milk. It’s so far past its expiration date that I’m only going to = have a small bite.   Joined a gym. = Mixed results from my first workout. Fifteen minutes cardio. Ten minutes = defibrillator. Three days hospital.   People used to = take their kids…

My regular = dentist gave sage advice years ago: “Don’t outlive your = teeth”.  I didn’t listen.   Next week I = get to have 3 roots cut out (teeth broke over the past two years) and 2 = more teeth extracted.  This is in addition to the 4 already…

I’ve = learned that . . . “if I follow the motto to ‘Eat = Right’ and ‘Stay Fit’, I will ‘Die = Anyway’.” I’ve learned that . . . “the = ‘things that come to those that wait’ may be the things left = by those who got there…

[Signs = you may be a little bored with your job]   *You’ve = already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for = 2018.   *You = discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images = of Elvis.   *You’ve = figured out a way to get…

[Labor = Day in the USA marks “Fall” and usual whining about warm = weather ending. Thought we should update the conversion chart for the = weather as share by a Canadian friend in = Winnipeg] 70F – Texans turn on = the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People…

[Nick Roush, Omaha = World Tribune columnist, said that ‘parents and sports usually do = not mix’.  His story, printed last June, shows an exception = to that rule.]   In 2017 parents = often confuse “what’s best for their kid” as = “defending them no matter what.”  The sports…

[Truly = forgettable puns and word-plays on the first weekday of every = month] Everyone had heard of Murphy’s Law, but few know = about Cole’s Law.  Of course, Cole’s Law is just sliced = cabbage.   Do you = remember the song, “The Allergy is Blowing in the Wind”…

MONA = LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent = on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?” =   COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: = “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could = have written!”   MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: = “Can’t you paint on walls…

I just did a week’s worth of cardio after = walking into a spider web.   I may be = wrong, but I doubt it.   I’m = going to stop asking ‘How dumb can you get?’  Liberals = seem to take it as a challenge.   I do not…