Grif.Net

I just did a week’s worth of cardio after = walking into a spider web.   I may be = wrong, but I doubt it.   I’m = going to stop asking ‘How dumb can you get?’  Liberals = seem to take it as a challenge.   I do not…

[I grew up in = a Jewish area of Minneapolis and learned some Yiddish – most of = which I cannot share on a family blog – but NEVER heard = these.] JEWBILATION= – Pride in finding out that one’s favorite sports figure or entertainer = is Jewish. TORAHFIED –…

[The following are two proposed = additions to the periodic table of elements – yes, the one you HAD to = memorize in high school chemistry class]   **Element name: = woman   Symbol: = WO   Atomic weight: (don’t even go = there)   Physical properties: Generally = round…

Charles Plumb was a U.S. Navy jet pilot in = Vietnam.  After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a = surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. = He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese = prison.  He survived the ordeal and…

On an = airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front = of me. Learning that it was the couple’s 60th wedding anniversary, the = flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done = it. "Those years all felt just like five or ten…

Just as a = surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the = patient awoke, sat up, and demanded to know what is going = on.   "I’m = about to close," the surgeon said.   The patient = grabbed the surgeon’s hand, saying, "I’m not…

During a Papal = audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change = the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "Give us this day our daily = bread" to "Give us this day our daily chicken," and = Kentucky Fried Chicken will donate $10,000,000 to…

Mr. Peterson owns a furniture = store specializing in ornate antiques in the baroque style. He had = walking pneumonia last month but was at the store anyway. He was in one = of the baroque style chairs rubbing Vicks Vapor-rub on his aching chest = and neck when his…

We’re = holding an Eclipse Party this morning, so I decided to bring a light = snack. ~~ How = do you organize a solar eclipse party? You = planet. ~~ How does the = man in the moon cut his hair?  Eclipse = it. ~~ Heard that = NASA…

Dan noted the = “tag line” on every Grif Net blog, and asked if I’d = ever heard of the song.  Morgan Easter wrote, “Jesus = Knows Me, This I Love” and it is a children’s favorite = today. Before time was measured,Before there was = light. Before any colors were set…

When our boys = were teens their bedrooms were in the basement where they also had their = own bathroom.  They constantly made a mess there and just expected = that our maid [read: their mother] would clean and straighten up after = them.   My wife grew = tired…

Some of the family were touring = in the Chicago Field Museum of Natural History, enjoying every = area.  Their son marveled at the dinosaur bones, so one of them = asked a nearby guard, "Can you tell my boy how old the dinosaur = bones are?"   The guard…

A = Wyoming rancher named Brown decided his injuries from the accident were = serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the = accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy Denver lawyer = was questioning Rancher Brown. "Didn’t you say, at the scene of the =…