Grif.Net

Who is the patron = saint of parents during the weeks before Christmas?  St. = Nickeless.   When I spend money on = gifts, I’m happy. When I don’t have money to spend, = I’m sad.  I think I’m = buy-polar.   What happened to the = money in my…

[A friend from college days shared this story.  I = HOPE it was not autobiographical.)   “If I = live to be a hundred, I will never understand women.   I noticed a = sad look on my wife’s face, and a tear sliding down her = cheek.  So, like…

[Some humor for the kids today.  And reminder = that whoever invented knock-knock jokes should win the no bell = prize] Knock, KnockWho’s there? EtchEtch who?God bless you.   Knock, = KnockWho’s there? Spell Spell = who? OK – ‘W’ = ‘H’ ‘O’   Knock, = KnockWho’s there? Little =…

[Scholar/friend James sent this “addendum” = to the story of Jesus Loves Me song we featured in last week’s = blog]   “Did you know that Jesus Loves Me is reported to = have saved the life of John F. Kennedy? In his historic crash of PT 109 = during…

When asked, "What do you = think of Western Civilization?", Mahatma Gandhi replied, "I = think it would be a good idea." "He uses = statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts, for support rather than = illumination." – Andrew Lang "He has Van Gogh’s ear for = music." –…

"I like your opera. I = think I will set it to music." – Beethoven (to another = composer) "He loves nature = in spite of what it did to him." – Forrest = Tucker   "Only two things are = infinite – the universe and human stupidity, and I’m…

[Ouch! Some of these have more = truth than humor!] "I’ve just learned about his illness. = Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial." – Irvin S. = Cobb   "If you won’t be a good = example, then you’ll have to be a horrible warning. – Catherine the = Great "He…

[More classic insults without = vulgarity]   "Thank you for sending me = a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it." – Moses = Hadas "I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter = saying I approved of it." – Mark Twain "He has…

[These insults are from an era = “ before” the English language got boiled down to vulgar = 4-letter words] "I never forget a face, = but in your case, I’ll make an exception." – Groucho = Marx "The thing that impresses = me most about America is the way…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0358_01D36B49.59D82B00 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0359_01D36B49.59D82B00″ ——=_NextPart_001_0359_01D36B49.59D82B00 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [Throughout the past decades, little children have grown up singing “Jesus Loves Me”. DO YOU know the tune? Someone penned words more fitting for those of us passing through ‘middle-essence’ into the…

[First = of the month and that means more puns and word = plays]   Most = babies are delivered by stork. Our kids were so heavy it took a = crane.   If = Apple made cars, would they have Windows?   Do you = think clouds look down…

The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The = plural, esposas, means "wives," but also = "handcuffs."   City with = the most Rolls Royce automobiles per capita =3D Hong = Kong.   In Elizabethan England, the spoon was so novel and = prized that people carried their own folding spoons…

[I have odd friends who love = the grif net blog. In turn, I love reading their “status = updates” and wonder how long they will be allowed out of the = asylum. No names of the people originating these on their social media = site need to be given.]…