Grif.Net

TOP TEN THINGS TO SAY ABOUT A CHRISTMAS GIFT YOU = DIDN’T LIKE   10. Hey! There’s a gift!     9. = Well, well, well …     8. = Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve = fit.     7. This is…

[Pe= ople who want to know about me personally have asked how I celebrated = the holidays]   Que= stion: Why was Christmas just like any other day at the office?  = Gri= f: I ended up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit got all…

[Here are some = important answers to questions you’ve had over Christmas , at = least according to 20 years of lame grif.net = jokes]   Q: Why are = Dasher and Dancer allowed to take coffee breaks? A: Because = they are Santa’s star bucks.   Q: How does…

CHRISTMAS STORY FROM GOSPEL OF = LUKE   "And it came to pass in those days, that there = went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be = taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of = Syria.) And all went…

Despite = our efforts to keep Him out, God intrudes. The life of Jesus is = bracketed by two impossibilities: a virgin’s womb and an empty = tomb.   Jesus = entered our world through a door marked "No Entrance" and left = through a door marked "No Exit."  …

What’s = the best Christmas present?  A broken drum (I heard you just = can’t beat it).   Warning: If = you start a fire in the fireplace on Christmas Eve, you may be visited = by Krisp Kringle.   Any= one who believes that men are the equal of…

If you’ve seen = one Santa, you’ve seen a mall.   I’ve = bought my kids a pack of batteries for Christmas with a note saying: = ‘Toys not included’.   Cash is the = one gift everyone despises and no one turns = down.   Tis the season =…

I bought my = wife a new refrigerator for Christmas.  I can’t wait to see her = face light up when she opens it.   In lieu of = gifts this season, I’ve decided to give everyone my = opinion.   Some = businessmen are saying that this could be…

Once again, we = come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us = observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his = choice.   Keep your = friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major gift = purchases  …

I lay helpless = on the basement floor, my hands tied and my mouth covered with tape. = Next year I’m going to ask for help wrapping Christmas = presents.   I am the ghost = of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have = happened…

HOW TO SAY "MERRY CHRISTMAS" IN OVER 33 = LANGUAGES!   Afrikander – Een Plesierige = Kerfees Arabic – I’d miilad said = oua sana saida Argentine – Felices = Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo Armenian – Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari = Gaghand Azeri – Tezze Iliniz Yahsi =…

Many people may have missed learning in school = about the famous American author James Fennimore Cooper and his book = about the life of Santa Claus. I’m reading it again and finding = out . . .   >Its title is ‘The Deer = Sleigher’   >Its cover is…

Challenging Christmas Quiz   1. The = first instrument on which the carol "Silent Night" was played = was: (a) A harp (b) A pipe organ = (c) A guitar (d) A kazoo   2. In = Guatemala, Christmas Day is celebrated: (a) On January 6 (b) On December 25…