Grif.Net

A passenger was furious when his steak arrived too rare.  =   “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say = ‘well done’?”    “I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied the = waiter.  “On a cruise ship the staff hardly ever get = compliments.”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin…

[Thoughts going thru my brain on every cruise I = take] I have no cruise control.  It’s like they almost = book themselves.   A cruise is = great for a lot of reasons: relaxing by the pool, dancing the night = away, eating 10 meals a day AND gaining…

[Here are some = good rules for everyday life]   Learn from the = past. Plan for the future. Live in the present. Live beneath = your means. Return everything you borrow. Stop blaming = other people. Admit it when you make a mistake. Give clothes you don’t wear to…

[Boarding ship = in a couple hours.  Today may NOT be the best day to be = dieting.  So wife shared some “motivation quotations” = to keep me off the 10-meal a day plan I usually enjoy on = board.]   "I’m not = overweight. I’m just nine inches too…

[Dieting = maxims might help me make it through another day.  Or = not.]   A successful = diet is the triumph of mind over platter.   A waist is a = terrible thing to mind.   How do = spacemen add more protein to their diet? They make it…

I hope when I = inevitably choke to death on gummy bears my obituary will just say I was = killed by bears and leave it at that.   Why am I = bothering to eat this chocolate? I might as well apply it directly to my = thighs.  …

I worry about = scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all = along.   About the only = time losing is more fun than winning is when you’re fighting = temptation.   If it wasn’t = for wrestling with my conscience, I’d get no exercise at = all.  …

[Ev= er had a few days off and when you returned to your normal routine, = found you’d gained 10 pounds? I decided today to just snack and = limit eating big feasts only if I was at the royal palace. Then I = realized on my first three blocks’…

[I gather encouraging and admonishing quotations from people who have = gone on before, to help me through the battles of the = day.]   “Hope is hearing the melody of the future. Faith is to dance to = it.” – Ruben A. Alves   “Faith is = believing in…

A little boy = was ushered into the waiting room, with a bloody gash on his = head.   "What = happened?" asked the receptionist behind the desk. Crying, = the boy replied "My sister hit me with a couple of = tomatoes."   The nurse came = out and…

[With overwhelming apathy to yesterday’s = dozen “converted” measurements, you knew I would be driven = to add a dozen more] 10 cards =3D- 1  = decacards   1 trillion microphones =3D- 1 = megaphone   2000 mockingbirds =3D two kilomockingbirds =   1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks =3D…

[Here are a dozen modern terms for familiar = measurements offered to the young millennials]   2000 = pounds of Chinese soup =3D  Won  ton   1 = millionth of a mouthwash =3D  1 microscope   Time = between slipping on a peel  and smacking the pavement =3D 1 =…

People tell me = “Nothing is impossible”.  I think it is possible.  = I’ve been known to easily do nothing all = day.   I changed my = iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.   If you get = grammar in your eyes, you’ll catch = subjunctivitis.   A…