Grif.Net

[Next week = we’ll devote a whole week of humor to my failing diet = attempts]   My new diet = consists of seven cheat days each week.   Actually, the = second day of a diet is easier than the first.  By the second day, = I’m off it.…

I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to = be greeted with a smile.    I’ve learned…. That there’s nothing sweeter than = sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks. =    I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you = fall in love with…

[Interesting (and sometimes absurd) new and old = signs seen on churches]   "Do you think ice cream is great? Just wait = until you try our Sundays!"   "We need kneeology not theology." =   "Exercise your soul, walk with God" =   "Serving Soul Food This Sunday"  and…

A woman, while = touring a small Central American country, was shown a bullfight. The = guide told her, "This is our number one = sport."   The horrified = woman said, "Isn’t that revolting?"   "No",= the guide replied. "That’s our number two = sport."   ~~ANWERS TO =…

PRESIDENTIAL QUIZ FOR THE 4th of = JULY   When Franklin Roosevelt sailed for North Africa in = 1943 to plan the invasion of Europe, he was the FOURTH President ever to = leave the United States while in office.  The other three = were: 1. 2. 3.   What…

[Actual signs in restaurants, some with my comments = added] NO WIFI. Talk to each other. Pretend it’s = 1995.   Today’s special: Nothing. Nothing is special. = You are not special. Order off the menu.  (Sounds like bad episode = with the soup Nazi)   Soup of the =…

[Turned = another page on the calendar and found another groan-up day with our = monthly offering of word-play]   A slice of Key = Lime pie in the Bahamas is $2.00, in Jamaica it’s $2.50, in Key West it = is $3.00 and $3.75 in Aruba. Evidently I’ve found…

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top = of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re = climbing it.    I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class. =    I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet = paper. The closer it…

[Many = struggled with yesterday’s quiz on McDonald’s, so here are = some easier questions] 1. = What is red and smells like blue paint? Red = paint.  2. = What do you call bears with no ears? B   3. = What do you call a bear with no teeth?…

Here is a quiz = about McDonald’s, the fast food giant of the world today.  = With 37,000 locations world-wide today, McDonald’s has more stores = than Burger King, Wendy’s, Taco Bell and Arby’s = combined.  1 out of every 100 people in the WORLD will eat at a =…

Worker suffers = leg pain after crane drops 800 pound ball on his = foot   Homicide victims = rarely talk to police   Barbershop = singers bring joy to school for deaf   Miracle cure = kills fifth patient   Bridges help = people cross rivers   17 remain…

[Odd = little tidbits from friends of mine] I’ve watched the news = while taking all my meds. It’s still not = enough.   Working = in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself = doing.   I = always thought Chiropractors were useless until I hurt…

Heard = that college students on the big island of Hawaii are graduating Magma = Come Loud.   I’ve = learned that Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s = at.   It you = can’t learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it = badly.…