Grif.Net

The = 2nd grade teacher was reviewing arithmetic when she saw a boy = not paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Daniel, = what is 4, 12, 28 and 44?"   Without = hesitation he replied, "PBS, NBC, HBO, and the Cartoon = Network!"   ~~…

Q. What day do eggs fear the most? A. Friday.   Q. Why were the Stars Wars films released in the sequence of = 4,5,6,1,2,3?A. Because directed they were by = Yoda.   Q. Why did = Grandma read the obituaries every morning? A. To find out = which guys…

There was an = old country doctor who would take his dog along with him when visiting = patients. The dog would remain outside while the doctor went in for the = house call.   On one = occasion, the physician went to the home of a man with a…

Sam = Weller in Charles = Dickens’ "Pickwick Papers" (1836-7) was prone to = producing punning sentences such as: ‘Out with it, as the father said to = the child when he swallowed a penny’. This type of verbal play, = involving a metaphorical and a punningly literal sense, soon…

A female = reader of the grif net blog sent me this true = story:   While I was = shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of = a lingerie store caught my eye.    "Do you = think your Daddy would like…

In 1998 when teaching at a college, a young lady = who was writing a paper for my class came to me asked, "Dr Bob, = what’s the difference between to annoy, anger and = exasperate?"   I = replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show…

Q: Why is “o” the loudest = vowel?   A: Because all the others are in audible. =   [This one may take some time to catch. Credit to = Reader’s Digest]   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net = "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a = lip balm. By mistake, I gave her the tube of Super = Glue.   It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to = me! ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected]…

FUNNY . . = .   Funny how a = $20 bill looks so big when you take it to = church, but so small = when you take it to the grocery store.   Funny how we = can’t think of anything to say when we pray, but don’t…

We all know = from high school science class that it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of = water 1 degree Celsius.  Translated into meaningful terms – ones = that they never taught us in high school – this means that if you eat a = very cold…

Fun little = “asides” from some of my friends to update their lives. And = from the looks of some, it must be nearing election = time:   Ken H asked, = “Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and = feel glad that you are…

[Yesterday we focused on how women = “understand”. Today, an eclectic assortment of facts about = women no one asked for] Did you know . . .   …there are 3 BILLION women who don’t look like = supermodels and only 8 who do!   …Marilyn Monroe wore a size…

Top Ten Things Only Women = Understand   10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black = shoes.   9. The difference between cream, ivory, and = off-white.   8. Crying can be fun.   7. = Fat clothes.   6. A = salad, diet drink, and a…