Grif.Net

TEN RULES OF = HOUSEKEEPING   1. Vacuuming = too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and = shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet = Fresh.   2. Dust = bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area = under the couch…

[Yesterday I = sent some =E2=80=98real=E2=80=9D humorous replies to =E2=80=9CWhy = aren=E2=80=99t you married yet=E2=80=9D.=C2=A0 Pastor Dan Parton shared = this response, the words of his former secretary Joanna Jackson whose = family was also friends of my wife. She remained single and pure her = entire life. She died…

[A single = 30-something teacher forwarded a few "snappy comebacks" to the = question asked her: "Why Aren’t You Married Yet?" I added a = few more, so . . ]   You haven’t = asked yet.   I was hoping = to do something meaningful with my life.  …

[Remembering = those in the Florida Panhandle being impacted today by Hurricane = Michael] (1) Hurricanes were first given women’s names to replace = an old numbering system in 19____.   (2) Hurricanes = – because of their high winds, disaster potential and destructive power = – were always named…

I love = limericks, though the humor of some can be bawdy at best. Here are old = and new family-friendly limericks.   The = 5-line limerick used the now-familiar rhyming scheme of A-A-B-B-A, and = metric beat of 3-3-2-2-3 in those rhyming lines.   Shakespeare employed a rough =…

An older man = arrived at the hospital with two burned ears.   "How’d it = happen?" was the first question asked by the nurse. =   "I had to = iron my shirt and the phone rang. Instead of the phone, I picked up the = iron," he explained.…

My new doctor told me that I am in great shape for my = age. I thought that was good news until I asked him how old he = thought I actually was.   He looked at = his records, paused, and said, “About 107.” =     ~~ Dr…

[I’d = have baked a cake. Cute story that we posted a while ago and asked for = again]   A little boy = told his Grandma how "everything" was going wrong. School, = family problems, severe health problems, etc. Meanwhile, Grandma is busy = baking a cake. She asked…

[More of Dave = Barry’s Lessons he’s learned about life.]   **Nobody is = normal.   **At least = once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and = announce that: > The = universe is even bigger and/or older than they = thought! > There are…

[Some of Dave = Barry’s Lessons he’s learned about life]   **The badness = of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in = it.   **You will = never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we = observe daylight-saving time.…

People often = ask where I get inane jokes and humorous stories that I post on my daily = blog.  Often, from YOU.  Here is some more drivel from my = “friends” that, as a  public service, I pass along to = you. Scott: I was = sitting, drinking coffee…

In the final hiring frenzy of the year, we added to = our headquarter staff . . . >>Grif Net Nutritional = Consultants =3D Eaton Wright and Liven Good   >>Grif = Net Coordinator of Parental Advice =3D Buck L. Upson   >>Grif = Net Graduation Coordinators =3D Val and…

[Monthly = attempt to spread high-quality puns and word-play. = Someday.]   I get a great = night’s sleep atop stacks of old magazines. But then, I have = a lot of back issues.   If you = haven’t tried blindfolded archery, then you don’t know what = you’re missing.   …