Grif.Net

[Going to have = grandkids here next week, so have to get ready with some great questions = to keep them entertained.  Or I’ll use = these.] Why does Waldo = wear a striped shirt? He = doesn’t want to be spotted   What is orange = and sounds like…

Bacon is the = answer. What is the question?   If = you’re offended with our flag, I’ll help you = pack   I’d grow = my own food if I could only find bacon seeds   My Garmin GPS = has learned to say ‘Your other left”   Sometimes…

DID YOU HEAR . = . .   About the = cadet that said bad things about West Point? He was = expelled for being rotten to the corps.   About the lady = who saw a sign at the movies that said 50 cents for = servicemen? She paid…

The world = breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken = places.—Ernest = Hemingway   Character = cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial = and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and = success achieved.—Helen = Keller   A…

Tech: "Hello, this is tech = support. What can I help you with today?"   Bob: “I’m having a = problem with my computer not responding = quickly.”   Tech: “Well, (rattles off = 90-seconds of computer jargon in a foreign accent). Got = it?”   Bob: "Sorry, I don’t…

**My dad said = no one is perfect and that we should learn to embrace our = mistakes.  Then he gave me a big hug.   **Dad advises his daughter: "Never forget, sweetie, you’re = unique, like everyone else." **A boy asked his dad, “Am I adopted?”  His dad =…

I thought growing old would take = longer   When is ‘old enough’ supposed to kick = in?   Don’t grow up. It’s a = trap   Being cremated is my last hope for a smokin’ hot = body   I so good I can forget what I’m doing while…

Do you ever = get the feeling that the only reason we actually vote is to find out if = the pollsters were correct?   If God had = intended for me to vote He would have given me = candidates.   A fool and his = money are soon…

Beethoven, walking on stage: “So what up, guys? Are you ready = for some serious symphonies?” Excited crowd: = “YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!” Beethoven: “I can’t hear = you!” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net "Jesus = Knows Me, This I Love!"

[Reprint of an = Editorial from nearly 20 years ago (this is NOT a modern = “election” red/blue item). Sorry that in my files I did not = keep the original source. Original was probably “Ted Nugent” = but this is changed from anything I find he wrote. I, too,…

In a small = town in Wyoming there is a rather sizable company that hires only = married men.  Concerned about this, a local feminist called on the = manager and asked, "Why is it you limit your employees to married = men?  Is it because you think women are…

I think the = best time on a clock is 6:30, hands down.   My dad failed = as a magician, but at least I have two half-sisters.  =   I must be part = magician, too.  I was driving by the house and my car turned into a =…

Q: While = chickens cross the road, why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross it? = A: It had no = guts.   Q: What do you = use to mend a jack-o-lantern? A: A pumpkin = patch.   Q: What do you = get if you divide the circumference…