Grif.Net

Last week in = Sunday School, the kindergarten class teacher was discussing correct = moral conduct based on the Ten Commandments with her five and six year = old’s.    After = explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy = mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that…

Visiting with = a fellow “senior” for coffee, we began venting about the = woes of modern technology.   I grumbled, = "I just can’t ever seem to remember my passwords."   My friend = smiled. "Oh really? I can never forget = mine!"   “How do = you manage…

Good News: You = baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You = lost two of them in the swift current.   Good News: The = Women’s Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Bad News: The = vote passed by 31-30.   Good News: The =…

From Michelle = – “FYI, you pee on a jellyfish sting NOT on a jelly = stain.  My apologies to the waitress at Waffle = House.”   From Johnny = – “Breaking News: Wealthy Christians outed in scheme to get = their kids into elite Vacation Bible = School.”  …

With the class = sitting quietly on the reading-rug, the first-grade teacher read the = story of the Three Little Pigs.  She came to the part of the story = where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his = home.    After reading, = "And so…

* You cannot = unsay a cruel word. * Every = path has a few puddles. * When you wallow with pigs, expect to = get dirty. * The best = sermons are lived, not preached. * Most of the stuff people worry = about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.…

Q: How does a = home schooler change a light bulb? (this is based on real life and not a = joke) A: Mom checks = three books on electricity out of the library Kids make = models of light bulbs Read a = biography of Thomas Edison and do…

FUN CANDY QUIZ = – Can you tell what popular CANDY answers each = description?   1. Five = slipper ones 2. Fourth = planet 3. Heaps and = piles 4. Devious = laughter 5. Annual = income (we wish) 6. Famous New = York street 7. Favorite = day…

My neighbor’s little seven-year-old Emma = admitted calmly to her parents that Ethan Brown had  kissed her = after class.    "How did such a thing happen?" gasped her = mother.   Emma admitted, "It wasn’t easy, but three = girls helped me catch him and hold him down."  …

Here are a few = sentences that ARE correct, but I find also HARD to read . . = .   1. All faith = he had had had had little effect on his life.   2. Have you = ever noticed that read rhymes with lead, and read rhymes…

[With St = Patrick’s Day on a Sunday this year, many missed an opportunity = for low-quality ethnically-unoffensive Irish = jokes]   My family came = to America during the Potato Famine or as we liked to call it, the first = episode of Starch Trek.   A psychic told…

* Your&nbs= p;fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * Keep = skunks and bankers at a distance. * Life is simpler when you plow = around the stump. * A bumble bee is considerably faster = than a John Deere tractor. * Words that soak into your ears = are…

My grandkids = love going on the internet and they keep track of their passwords for = different sites by writing them on sticky notes by their = desks.   I noticed a = granddaughter’s Disney password was = "Minnie_Mickey_Goofy_Pluto_Denver". I asked why it was so long = and so…