Grif.Net

[Have enjoyed = posting word-plays on the first weekday of the month for more than two = decades] To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage = jacket, know this: You can hide but you can’t = run.   I don’t = play soccer because I enjoy the…

When the world = my heart is rending,With its heaviest storm of care,My glad = thoughts to God ascending,Find a refuge from = despair.   This the hope = that shall sustain me,Till life’s pilgrimage is past;Tears = may vex and trouble pain me;I shall reach my home at =…

Mary and I once had to appear in court for domestic = problems. The judge asked Mary, "Why did you hit your husband with = a chair?"Mary replied, "Because the = table was too heavy!"   Not too long ago Mary went to a fortune teller who asked, = "So,…

February has a = history of being a good month for events. inventions and = innovations.  Can you match the February invention or historic = event with the correct year?   1872 &nbsp= ;           Alka Seltzer = invented 1876 &nbsp= ;           Washington = Monument dedicated (started nearly 40 years =…

Modern Mom: “That word is = inappropriate” My Mom: = “Say that again and I’ll wash your mouth out with = soap”   Modern Mom: “Good job trying one bite of the = dinner I made. Now you can have Mac & Cheese” My Mom: “You’ll eat what I make…

My wife has a = slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to = breathe. – Jimmy Durante Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit = people only once a year. – Victor Borge Be careful about reading = health books. You may die of a…

Bob: = “It’s just at times like this that I wish I had listened to = what my mother always said.”   Teresa: = “What advice did she give you?”   Bob: “I = don’t know.  I never listened.”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net "Jesus =…

[More church = message signs]   “What = part of ‘THOU SHALT NOT’ don’t you = understand?”   “Jesus = is watching, but the police have radar”   “Free = drinks.  Just kidding.  Free = Jesus”   “Hooked = on Hokey Pokey? Come in and turn yourself = around”  …

“We love = hurting people”   “Prophecy= class cancelled due to unforeseen = circumstances”   “Don&#821= 7;t let worry kill you.  Let our church = help”   “God = doesn’t make misteaks”   “Gardenin= g for God brings real peas”   “Do you = know what Hell is? Come listen…

Samuel = decided, “If the pastor doesn’t shake my hand Sunday, = I’m going to tear up the church bulletin.” Jim said, = “The police came by and asked me where I was between 5 and = 6.  They seemed irritated when I told them = ‘Kindergarten’.”   Scott shared,…

If you don’t = like my standard of cooking, lower your = standards.   If a messy = kitchen is a happy kitchen, this kitchen is = delirious.   If we are what = we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.   I came, I saw, = I decided…

So this isn’t = ‘Home Sweet Home’. Adjust.   Ring Bell for = Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself.   I clean house = every other day. Today is the other day.   Martha Stewart = doesn’t live here.   I’m creative. = You can’t expect me to…

The small-town doctor walked his dog over to visit a dying = patient.  As the doctor was preparing to leave the man’s = bedside, the patient asked, “Doctor, I am afraid. Tell me what = lies on the other side.” Very quietly, the doctor said, = “I don’t know.”  …