Grif.Net

[Puns upon a midnight = dreary, lexical semantics for the weak and = weary] What breed of = dog will unlock your front door? Yorkie   He drove his = expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes = bends.   What do you = call a…

A miserly = lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to = prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with = you.”   After much = thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out = how to take at least some of…

It was early Monday morning, and I was waiting in a long = line to shop at the grocery store that opened an hour early for seniors = only.   A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in = at the front of the line,…

[A Capuchin = Franciscan, Brother Richard Hendrick, lives in Ireland and penned a = touching poem about coronavirus called “Lockdown”. Much = thanks to my friend Bruce in PEI Canada for the = forward.] “Lockdo= wn”   Yes there is fear. Yes there is isolation. Yes there is panic buying.…

[Last post = in a week for the aging, um aged, er ages]  Today at the drugstore, the = clerk was a gent.From my purchase, he took off 10 percent.I = asked for the cause of a lesser amount;And he answered, = “It’s the Seniors Discount.”   I went to…

[Fourth Installment of our = Humor on Aging week] At our church, a group of senior citizens = were sitting around talking about their = ailments:   “My arms are so weak I = can barely hold a cup of coffee”, said = one.   “Yes, I know. My =…

I’M A = SENIOR CITIZEN (another installment in our “aging” = series)  I’m anti-everything now: = anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, = anti-inflammatory.   I’m walking more (to the = bathroom) and enjoying it less.   I’m going to reveal what = goes on behind closed doors in our home. Absolutely =…

I’M A = SENIOR CITIZEN and proud of it!  I’m the life of the party = even when it lasts until 8 p.m.   I’m very good at opening = childproof caps with a hammer.   I’m usually interested in = going home before I get to where I am…

[This starts a = week of lame jokes dealing with aging. Since I just had a birthday, many = asked what it was like turning 72]   At my party we = played “senior citizen games”, such as =   1. Sag, = You’re it   2. Pin the =…

[For new = readers/subscribers to the Grif.Net blog  – on Monday-Friday we = send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out = material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or = political nature. The past week I had TWO BIRTHDAYS, and…

[Last day, I = promise. I just revel in the miracle of life and how God made the = amazing human body]   1. The = strongest muscle in the human body is in the = jaw.   2. = Coincidently, the hardest bone in the human body is the…

[More odd facts we don’t usually think about = concerning our own bodies]   1. The = average heart beats 100,000 times per day.   Mine has been = beating 2,628,000,000.  So far, so good.   2. The = lifespan of an eyelash is about 5 months.   3.  If =…

A professor = asked his class, “If you laid all the blood vessels in your body = end to end, how long would it be?”  He was looking for = obvious answers of either 62,000 miles or 2.5 times around the = planet.   A savvy = student answered, “I…