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20 books for interesting summer reading . . . ‘I Was Prepared’ by Justin Case ‘The Future of Robotics’ by Cy Borg and Anne Droid ‘Why Should I Walk?’ by Iona Carr ‘How to Survive a Bear Attack’ by Ben Eaton ‘CPR Made Easy’ by Izzy Dead ‘Where Have All…

[Esther forwarded these stories to make you scratch your head] My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, = but they only had iceberg. ~~ A family had to have the…

Even if you aren’t, you may SOUND educated by utilizing perfect English: Scintillate, scintillate asteroid minific Translation: Twinkle, twinkle little star Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate ensemble Translation: Birds of a feather flock together Surveillance should precede saltation Translation: Look before you leap Pulchritude possesses solely…

A new theory suggests that Elvis and Godzilla were identical twins who were SEPARATED AT BIRTH. Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same? You be the judge. Nickname Godzilla: King of Monsters Elvis: King of Rock Year Career Started Godzilla: 1954 Elvis:…

[Carol forwarded this lesson of life from nature. Not sure of its accuracy but was impressed by it. Thank you.] BUZZARD – If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its…

[Suggested questions for my August trip to see the grandkids] Q: How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? A: They had reservations. Q: What did one elevator say to the other? A: I think I’m coming down with something! Q: What did Tennessee? A:…

[Had fun writing some fictitious “personal ads” for well-known Bible characters. Feel free to send me some YOU think up. BTW, can you figure out the writers?] “Come with me to the promised land. Traditional religious man seeks adventurous mate for the journey of a lifetime. If you enjoy traveling,…

If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, please press 1, then 1, then 1 again, then 1, then 1 repeatedly. If you are Codependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have Multiple Personalities, please press 3,4,5,and 6. If you are Paranoid-Delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just…

[From an Air France bulletin, dated December 1, 1989] Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an ‘E’ for Effort. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that…

Visited last week in northern Illinois (hot and humid) with 6 of my grandchildren. Thought you all might enjoy some of the questions I asked them . . and see if YOU know the answers! [Answers on Wednesday, but you can send in guesses] 1. What peels and chips but…

‘WHO AM I?’ Karl Barth, Paul Tillich, Reinhold Niebuhr and James Cone found themselves all at the same time at Caesarea Philippi. Who should come along but Jesus and he asked the four the same Christological question, “Who do you say that I, the Son of Man, am?” Karl Barth…

Bored cramming for finals? Try this “Canonical List” of Touch-Tone Phone Songs Key to symbology: Commas (,) pauses Hyphens (-) held notes Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333,222,133,212333322321 or 3212333,222,133,3212333322321 or 3212333,222,399,3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333,333,39123,666-663333322329,333,333,39123,666-6633,399621 333,333,39123,666,6633,3332232,9,333,333,39123,666,66333399621 Frere Jacques 1231,1231,369,369,9*9631,9*9631,111,111 4564,4564,69#,69#,#*#964,#*#964,414,414 Olympic Fanfare 3-9-91231,2222-32112312,3-9-91231,2222-32112321 The Butterfly Song 963,23621,3693236236932362,963,23621 Happy Birthday 112,163,112,196,110,8521,008,121…

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”…